That turned dark quickly. Instead
of a picture-perfect vacation on the beach, Gail
was now watching her husband being tossed,
one piece at a time, into the Atlantic Ocean.
Her story took the wind out of her sails, and she
began to drown in despair. In her grief, and with
few coping skills, she turned to drinking and
became addicted to alcohol. She found solace in
drinking vodka straight from the bottle. She had
once been a party girl, who had gotten so drunk
at a party one night that she threw up in a
friend's new car.
As this was going on, Michael was in deep
distress himself. Desperate to get away from his
wife and her drinking, he joined the navy to
fight the war on drugs. He flew helicopters,
trained others, and was eventually commissioned
as an officer. This gave him more of a mission,
one that he could take pride in doing. He felt that
he was doing something positive, taking care of
the country. Gail was not content with this and
disapproved, as she could not bear to have her
husband away from home.
After 18 years of marriage, Michael could no
longer bear to be around Gail and her drinking.
Not wanting to leave her, he just put on a happy
face, though he was really in trouble. His wife
wanted him to go to war with the alcohol and
Michael was trapped in a war of attrition, and
she was getting the upper hand. In April 1992,
he sought treatment for a drinking problem, at
the Navy's drug abuse facility. Within weeks, he
was back on the road, assigned to fly again. He
and Gail were living in a condo in North Carolina,
and were not doing so well. With Gail out of work,
she was resorting to other ways of taking care of
herself. At one point, she went to a bar and
drank, and when she did, Michael was waiting for
her and dragged her home by her feet. Gail's
wonderful vacation turned into a nightmare.
Michael's drinking continued, and he was also
in trouble. Michael was in a world of his own, and
Gail was not a welcome presence. She went back
to work, and also began to drink and get into
more trouble. Life for both of them was spinning
out of control.
Then, the nightmare began to turn into a
nightmare for Gail, and for Michael. Gail was
finally given a choice between going to jail, or
rehab. So she entered rehab. Her parents paid for
it. She got a one-year sentence, in August 1992.
Michael got a choice as well, which was not a
choice at all. He could not cope with the
thought of losing his wife. He would make the
best of his situation, or so he thought. He thought
it would be okay to drink in his own home.
Little did he know. For, on September 18, 1992,
his wife left him for the last time. To avoid going
to jail for beating his wife, Michael had to enlist
the help of Gail's parents to pay for her treatment.
Gail stayed in rehab for 10 months. When she
got out, she was clean and sober, but her father
would not let her see Michael. Her father just
did not want her to see her husband, for he
figured she would drink again. Michael was
left to cope on his own, with a wife gone, a home
forever empty, and no wife or home to go to. The
end of a life with the love of his life.
Michael spent a year in the house that he had
lived in for almost 30 years, on the same street
where he had grown up. He had some visitors,
but he was not in the mood for socializing. He
was not in the mood to be anywhere but at home.
It was here that he suffered a terrible loss: His
dog Max, who had been with him since he was a
young boy. As far as Michael was concerned, Max
was family. At times, Michael became belligerent
with a few of his visitors. Gail once called the
police because he and another friend were
having an argument. Things were going wrong,
and the end was fast approaching. The world
would never be the same.
On July 14, 1993, the police were called to
help Michael, who was distraught and needed
help. The police helped him, as they could see
how close he was to the end. When Michael was
arrested, he told the police that he was going
to kill himself. On July 16, Michael was found
dead of carbon monoxide poisoning. He had tied a
pillowcase around his neck and carbon monoxide
was being pumped into his house through the
electrical system. In the process of dying, he was
helping the police make a murder case.
Gail was back in town, and was at the police
station when she got the news that Michael was
dead. All that she wanted was for him to be
alive, but it was too late. She could not help him,
and there was nothing she could do. The most
positive thing she could say is that he was
happy, and that was by his choice. This was his
decision. He was doing the right thing, not
taking his life, but he knew he would have to do
it one day.
Gail was the first wife to be murdered by her
spouse, and the last one. It is the last wife who is
usually murdered, while the first wives simply
leave the relationship. However, many times, the
couple will have children together, and the
children will think it is their fault that the
parents are separated, or the grandparents are
fighting. It can all get very confusing, and
sometimes it ends in murder. The murder, or
suicide, is usually the husband's fault, and he
does it for his own good. He wants the peace of
the grave, not a life in the custody battle with his
in-laws. It is as though his children's lives are
too valuable to take, so he ends it all himself.
What can you do to protect yourself from a
suicidal spouse? First, keep away from the
drinking of spouses and drinking in general.
Secondly, keep the weapon out of reach and do not
let him get drunk. Drinking puts him at risk, but
not being drunk saves you from some trouble.
You need to look him straight in the eye, and you
need to look straight into his eyes as well.
Always keep a small mirror in your purse, so
that you can peer into it when things go wrong.
In a world where we live in crisis, this is not
much more than common sense. He needs to
watch his eyes, and watch what he is doing, and
his hands. If he is breathing in the odor of
alcohol, it is a good bet that he is planning to
take his life. The police are trained to look for
this, but you must do so, too. Watch him as he
does his business, how he carries himself, the
color of his face, and the look in his eyes. You
need to keep an eye on him, and you must do so
if he is intent on committing suicide. And he is
not going to be able to talk about anything that
happened to him, and he is not going to talk about
anything that happened to him, ever. This is
normal for a person in crisis.
Remember that alcoholism is not the same as
being lazy, not being able to do anything, and
not caring. A person with a drinking problem is
