A Giant Game of Bumper Cars, A little story of an old farmer and his prize flock of turkeys, With a dog who loved a rooster and made the hens very unhappy, The little goat with a big appetite who ate anything and everything, And the young, smart, and handsome collie who did everything the farmer asked of him, And the way they all learned the same important lesson that day, And the way they all learned it in such a short amount of time, And the way they were all much better off as a result, And the way things will be when you know where to run when the fire alarm is sounded, And the way a good dog can make you laugh when you least expect it, And the way the turkey never really missed a thing at the end of all that running and jumping and playing, And the way a cow with no teeth can eat grass and you can't, And the way the horse ate up half the pasture the day he learned to eat grass, And the way the puppy and the little old mare liked to run up and down the fence, And the way a goat never wants to leave, and you have to take him back to the farm, And the way he always remembers how far he wants to go and you can never get him to stop, And the way it was just as hard to keep him back when he had wings as when he didn't, And the way it was just as hard to keep him from going off into the fields alone, And the way he never really missed a thing at the end of all that running and jumping and playing, And the way a good dog can make you laugh when you least expect it, And the way it takes every single bit of muscle to keep things going, And the way the old man's son was no slouch and the old man was a better man, And the way he remembered how it was when he was a child, and the way the two dogs had to be taught they were wrong, And the way no one ever knows how good you are until you run away, And the way the old man learned the truth in a very interesting way, And the way he was taught it at a very interesting time, And the way it took many years to convince him he should never have eaten the goat, And the way he was never really sick from eating the grass after all, And the way a good dog can make you laugh when you least expect it, And the way he did get very upset after eating the grass and he made a mess of himself, And the way the collie was always running off the farm, and running into trouble with the dog catcher, And the way he made the farmer mad for eating the cow, And the way he was so sad that he died in the end, and everyone who loves him is sad as well, And the way he was always much better off than the old man, And the way it takes every single bit of muscle to keep things going, And the way he learned the truth in a very interesting way, And the way he was taught it at a very interesting time, And the way it took many years to convince him he should never have eaten the goat, And the way the old man learned the truth in a very interesting way, And the way it took many years to convince him he should never have eaten the goat, And the way he taught it to the dog, and all the other dogs that he knew, And the way they learned it when he let them eat a cow, and they weren't sure what was wrong with them, And the way they all remembered, and they all learned the same important lesson, And the way a good dog can make you laugh when you least expect it, And the way the old man never really missed a thing at the end of all that running and jumping and playing, And the way the dog was the first to figure it out, And the way the goose took such a deep interest in the other dogs' behavior, And the way it took a long time to convince her she was the first to figure it out, And the way it was just as hard to keep her from going off into the fields alone, And the way the turkeys always knew where the geese were, and had never been surprised in all that time, And the way they remembered, and they learned the same important lesson, And the way a good dog can make you laugh when you least expect it, And the way it takes every single bit of muscle to keep things going, And the way he learned the truth in a very interesting way, And the way he was taught it at a very interesting time, And the way it took many years to convince him he should never have eaten the goat, And the way it was the best of all the worst things he ever ate, And the way they all learned the same important lesson that day, And the way he never really missed a thing at the end of all that running and jumping and playing, And the way no one ever knows how good you are until you run away, And the way no one ever knows how good you are until you run away, And the way you can never get him to stop, and you never will want him to stop, And the way he will be the one who says, "I always knew." ## The Story of the Old Man and His Son One of the most dangerous things you can do with a horse is stop eating, especially if you have one of those big strong horses who eats ten pounds of oats in the morning and ten pounds of hay in the evening. Don't ever let that horse smell a piece of watermelon. It will make him crazy to eat watermelon. Now, I'm not going to tell you not to eat watermelon, because that would be very, very bad advice. That's for adults. If you're an adult and want to eat watermelon, by all means eat watermelon. Some people are not big fans of watermelon. They say it makes their stomach grow too big. I am not a big fan of watermelon myself. But then, I'm not a horse person, so I wouldn't know. You have to decide whether you are a horse person or a watermelon person yourself. If you are a watermelon person and you've got a horse, then the best thing you can do is to have the watermelon come with a very strong message on the outside that says "Do Not Eat Watermelon." If the watermelon is a little too big to fit in your hand, then that's even better. You see, the best thing about watermelon is that people always think they're getting a good piece, so they can't stop at just one. If you want people to stop at just one, watermelon doesn't work. But if people think they're going to get the whole watermelon all at once, they can't stop. That's true of children as well as grown-ups. If you make chocolate cake, and make it so that a child can only have one bite, you can usually get two to three bites out of them. They see the big huge cake and want to get it all. And you might find them in a good mood and happy that they got the cake, whereas if you give them one huge bite, they are in a bad mood, because they can't finish it all at once. They see the big huge cake, they say "I am going to eat the whole thing!" and "I want to eat the whole thing, and I can't finish the whole thing, and I've got to try and eat the whole thing and if I can't eat the whole thing, I'm going to be really upset." So the first thing is that a big huge cake or watermelon is great. But people can't stop at one big huge piece. That's why it's not a great cake or watermelon if you make it so people can only have one bite. But if they eat the whole thing, then you get lucky. Because they're eating the whole thing, if you leave them alone with it, all they'll do is eat it, and they'll get good and tired of it. When a horse is eating, and it is hot, and it is hot out in the shade, and you go out to them and they eat a little, they'll go right on eating. But if you stop them, and you bring a whole watermelon out there, they'll get tired of the watermelon. It will be nice and cold by that point, so you won't have to worry about the watermelon being too hot. Now, I was brought up to look at watermelon as food for horses and cattle. But a lot of people don't look at it that way. Most watermelons don't have enough sugar for a horse or a cow. That's the problem. A lot of people like to eat watermelon. So if you are going to bring watermelon for a horse or cow, make sure it's a watermelon with enough sugar in it. Even though watermelon is a very dangerous thing to eat because if you stop eating waterm