Quietly, Quiggly stepped into the darkness as he stealthily approached and steeled himself for a confrontation that would likely result in his demise. "Now, what're we gonna do with ya?" The goblin's voice, coming from behind, echoed softly into the cave. "You look like a big boy, and a little too dumb to be real smart. All you gotta do is tell me what I wanna know, and we can let ya go. If ya don't... well... just put it all together, but ya don't even have to be smart to do that, do ya?" "What do ya want from me?" Quiggly asked. "Ya know, I reckon it don't really matter what ya want. All I know is that it won't be anything bad, and don't be upset. After all, a few hours from now you'll wake up. Now, you don't need to be afraid, Quiggly, you just need to tell me what ya know. Ya know, the truth always comes out. Well, maybe not in this case, but let's not worry about it now. So, start with, where you came from." In the dark, just a few feet away from where they were hiding, Quiggly turned and saw what the strange goblin was pointing at. "Well, I guess we have a couple of choices here," the goblin continued. "We can kill ya, or we can let ya go, or we can just let ya walk outta here, depending on what you give us first." Quiggly knew they were in trouble, and decided to start giving the goblins what they wanted. "I came from a place called Glomdalen, by the Blue Mountains." He said. "Why are you looking at me like that? Are ya saying you came from the Blue Mountains? What's so funny, then?" "No, I didn't come from the Blue Mountains. But I've heard about it. All I can say is, it's an interesting story." "Oh," said the goblin, "so what ya here for, anyway? Cause you don't seem to have much here. That's what I was afraid of. That's why I went down there. This is gonna be harder than I thought it would. Well, come on, say what ya came here for, so I can let ya go. I don't much like keepin' no one here unless I have to." Quiggly decided to continue talking, and it came as no surprise to him that he was quickly caught. "I've been sent by Durndrud D. Doogers, to see about the people in the north, who's been in some trouble. Well, kind of trouble. I don't know how much help I can give them though." He said. The goblin stood up and smacked his knee. "I told ya not to lie to me. Well, it don't matter now. I reckon we're gonna have to kill ya. You can't walk around like this." Quiggly stepped out into the darkness as the goblin stepped in close. The goblin pulled out a knife and swung it toward Quiggly's head. Quiggly ducked, and the knife sliced through the air, missing Quiggly's face by mere inches. In an instant, Quiggly grabbed the goblin's wrist, pinning it behind the goblin's back as he stepped back from the goblin. In a flash, he drove the goblin's wrist into the ground, crushing the bones in it. The goblin squirmed, but Quiggly stood firm, pinning the goblin down. The goblin cried out in pain. "Quit fighting me! Now, just calm down, and I'll be on my way." Quiggly said as he loosened his grip. The goblin lay there, stunned. Quiggly looked at the goblin and said, "I said, 'Calm down'. Not stop." He turned to leave. "It was just an accident. You don't really wanna kill me." The goblin cried. "You keep talking like that and I just might." Quiggly said as he turned around. "Look, I'm sorry about my friend. I don't know how that happened." Quiggly paused. "I am going to ask you one more time. What is it that you are doing here?" The goblin sat up and brushed himself off. "Well, it just so happens, I'm collecting a group of people who are on a quest. They're in a battle with something they cannot defeat. And they sent me down to make sure they get over this hurdle. They are in trouble and need a friendly little voice." Quiggly couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Friendly? What do you mean? You're telling me the goblins are collecting people? I mean, that makes a lot more sense to me, than a little voice in a cave." "Ha!" The goblin spat. "That's right. And in case you weren't paying attention, I'm the voice." "That makes even more sense." Quiggly said. "They sent you, because you're the most pathetic little goblin that ever lived." The goblin's mouth fell open, as Quiggly continued. "I can't think of a worse insult than that. You see, there is one little thing that only a goblin would have trouble with. We don't know how to lie. How dare you? Lying is the core of goblin behavior. We have our own way of thinking, and that's what makes us the best, most trusted creatures there is. You know, how we can be such great friends with other creatures, but our friends know we will always be honest. That's why we stand tall and proud, because of what we are. You, you pathetic excuse for a goblin, you're a fraud. There's no way on this earth you can't tell when someone is lying. You can't even keep up a lie if you had to! And don't worry, those people you are supposed to be helping... I'm not saying you're lying about them, but you're definitely lying about those people you are helping." Quiggly turned around and made for the cave. He stopped in the doorway and turned around. "Good luck with your quest. You goblins never know what we're talking about, anyway. You don't know when somebody's lying, you don't have any friends, and you certainly don't know how to keep a friend. I couldn't think of any more great ways to insult a goblin than I just have. As a matter of fact, the whole concept makes you more disgusting, goblin, than you already are. Well, I guess that makes three insults." Quiggly said, and turned around and left the goblin behind. Quiggly walked down the trail that led to Glomdalen, just to the east. There wasn't a goblin for miles. A goblin was easy to spot, being as they usually wore clothing with their heads sticking out of their chests. But to Quiggly, this was a good thing, because if he saw a goblin, he could get out of there and away from them before they saw him. All he needed was a little time. Quiggly reached a small house just before dusk, in a rural area. The smell of chicken greeted Quiggly as he opened the door and walked in. It was an unoccupied building, so he took a seat on the floor. A few minutes later, an old woman with wild gray hair entered, wearing the standard clothing of a farmer. "Hello, stranger." She said as she picked up a chair, sitting down next to Quiggly. "I hope you don't mind." Quiggly said. "I've been trying to find the house of whoever is living here. They sent me." The old woman smiled as she lit a small pipe. "Would you like a smoke?" "Sure, thanks," Quiggly said. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" The woman said. "Yes, I mind, but I might as well ask. After all, I already told you I'd be here." Quiggly said as he pulled a small tube of tobacco out of his coat pocket and began rolling a joint. "Oh, so I suppose I won't have to ask." "But," Quiggly said, holding his hand up to silence her, "you may ask anyway." "Fine. Who or what is a goblin?" "Well," Quiggly said, turning the glowing joint toward her and placing it between her lips, "a goblin is a creature without a sense of right and wrong, and one who cannot keep a friend. He is always looking for a chance to steal what he wants, and has no respect for his surroundings. The thing I find the most disgusting about goblins, is the way they act like little kids. I mean, they don't realize the power that they have. And they don't realize what it is they're fighting against