Tiffany, you really should reconsider your life choices if you are interested in men." "What life choices, Ma?" "Men!" Tiffany was quiet throughout the following weekend, but then she gave me an impassioned phone call at 2:00 AM on the following Monday, all in tears, explaining how she had met someone who truly loved her, someone who had treated her with respect and cared about her hopes and dreams, but her mother, out of jealousy, and stupidity and sheer ignorance of human nature, had made her think that the man did not really love her, just wanted to turn her into a mistress, and how she was now so upset that she was contemplating taking an express bus to Memphis to drown herself in the mighty Mississippi River. "And you would blame it on your mother, right?" I asked. "Of course I would blame it on her. Do you know how selfish she is? She never even told me that it was her who called up that show and complained about me. My own mother! You tell her that you saw us kissing and told me it was wrong and she was too busy to talk to me about it. If she had any respect for me at all, she would have called me up and told me that she was worried about me and she was going to do something to improve my life, but instead, she told the whole world about me being a slut and no respectable man would ever have me. I think I would know more about men than she does if I lived in her body for one week. She makes me so mad sometimes, " she moaned, as she put a pillow over her head. Two days later I got home from work and asked Tiffany how she was doing, to which she snapped, "I am fine, how are you?" "How do you think I'm doing? I am your boyfriend, I can't be fine when you're not," I replied. "Well, I guess we'll just have to make you happy," she said with a half-hearted smile. "You better, or you won't get any loving from me," I said, "I would never hurt you," she replied. "I would hurt you if you did not do something for me. And I promise I will do something to make you happy if you will just be my loving girlfriend." Tiffany could not help but give me a smile. That night as we made love, I took her from behind, and when I finally came she smiled as she kissed me. "Do that again," she said, "this time on top." She was my girlfriend in a few weeks, and she never once complained about me wanting to take her from behind. We are now married with two kids and she did not try to change me for one second. We will always love each other and we both agree that you cannot have too much of a good thing. Peggy Rae "Let her be what she wants. You will never be rid of her." Shakespeare If I can make a little money at it, I want my kids to be able to do that, too. -Homer Simpson "I'm ready for a relationship. I just hope my standards are not too high." "Mine either." I have started reading the book of Proverbs for insight into my own life, and it is really working for me. If you'd like one, I think I could spare one. "I might just do that." -Homer Simpson I got married in order to get to second base with fewer clothes. -Lisa Simpson _____ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com << File: http://explorer.msn.com >> _____ Do You Yahoo!? Find a job, post your resume. Get a new job listings every 30 minutes http://careers.yahoo.com _____ Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com << File: http://explorer.msn.com >>