Chapter 1. Our story begins with the death of his father, and the way he responds to that event is one of the most illuminating things in his life. Chapter 2. His mother, a strong woman, raises two boys on her own and works at a variety of jobs. She is the sole provider and caregiver. Chapter 3. He enters his teenage years as the first stirrings of manhood and rebellion. He meets his mother’s new boyfriend, his father’s brother, and he begins to experiment with drugs and alcohol. Chapter 4. At the age of seventeen, he makes the decision to leave the safe haven of the family home and goes out on his own, taking up residence with a cousin and his wife who are having trouble raising their daughter. He also becomes the first in his family to complete high school. Chapter 5. Things begin to unravel. He is unable to find a job, so he ends up working as a cook for the family for whom he worked part-time at the age of seventeen. It is there that he catches up with his cousin and first meets the young girl he will marry when she is just fourteen. Chapter 6. As he gets to know the mother of the family, and as the children mature, he sees his role change. He stops working, and by the time the children are in high school, he is a full-time stay-at-home father. His role becomes that of a nurturing parent, and he finds himself being drawn into the lives of his daughters. Chapter 7. He and his wife begin having sex together, and he begins to question what he is doing. He realizes that the thought of having a sexual relationship with her is revolting, and he runs away. Chapter 8. He moves in with his Uncle. Their relationship is strained, but things do improve. He learns to love and appreciate his uncle, but eventually he finds himself back out on his own. His uncle dies and leaves his family in chaos. Chapter 9. He has a job, and he makes money, and he buys a truck. He begins to explore his sexual feelings, and eventually, he is able to meet another woman who will become the first woman he has sex with. Chapter 10. She is also the first woman with whom he has an unplanned pregnancy. He takes a lot of heat from her and her family for being irresponsible. But he struggles to believe that he can keep this baby, even though he does not want to be a parent. Chapter 11. He starts a family of his own, and it doesn’t work out. It is at this time that he begins to wonder about the value of marriage. When the wife of the man he worked for dies suddenly, he wants to know more about the woman who just a year earlier had been as good to him as a mother. Chapter 12. He continues to struggle. He feels guilty that he is not as helpful to his wife as he should be, and he begins to drift away from her. It is at this time that his younger brother dies of AIDS. It is also the time that he begins to experiment with a new kind of relationship. It is an experiment that will change his life and the way that he relates to women. Chapter 13. The relationship begins with a series of phone calls to the house of a man who is not his wife. He begins an intense relationship with her and the two become sexually involved. As time passes, he realizes that this is a new way of relating to women and that he may be able to have a better and more fulfilling life with a woman like her. Chapter 14. He decides to bring this relationship to an end. He breaks up with her, knowing that it will cause him much heartache. He leaves the relationship, but not until after she has agreed to accept some of the responsibility for his son, born of his relationship with her. Chapter 15. He starts up a new relationship with a woman, and it does not work out. He learns more about what he can do to satisfy his needs. He also meets a woman who claims to love him, but in his mind, there is no place for love in his new relationship. He is determined to get what he wants. Chapter 16. He falls for another woman, and it doesn’t work out, either. But he is able to put his feelings on hold until she too becomes pregnant. His life continues to spiral out of control. Chapter 17. He and his wife have another child, and it is in this process that he realizes that it is a woman who makes a baby, and that it is a woman who must make demands on a man to get what she wants. As his life continues to spiral out of control, he finds himself increasingly disillusioned and disgusted with what he has become. It is at this time that he meets another woman and falls into another pattern of relationships. He begins to believe that this new relationship is the way to go and that it will provide the life that he wants. Chapter 18. It is also at this time that he comes to the realization that his life has failed him and that he has no one to blame but himself. It is at this time that he learns of the suicide of his nephew. For the first time in his life, he realizes that he has not been there for the one he loves the most, and in doing so, he finds himself falling in love with his nephew. The man who has never cared for his wife wants to care for his nephew, and it is at this time that his uncle and his wife find themselves in the middle of a love story that will have huge repercussions. Chapter 19. The first half of this chapter shows him coming to grips with the fact that he is alone. He doesn’t have a partner and he is stuck in a rut. At the end of this chapter, he is willing to try again, but that willingness is tentative. Chapter 20. It is at this point that he is beginning to understand that he is as much of a romantic as he is a sexual being. It is also at this point that he finds himself at the site of a tragedy. The last two chapters tell the story of his nephew and how he meets the woman he is going to marry, even though he does not fully realize it. It is at this point that he has his last sexual encounter. Chapter 21. The story ends with the celebration of his son’s wedding. His world has been rocked, but he has not destroyed it. Chapter 22. This chapter gives us a glimpse into the life of a lesbian who has fallen in love with a man. She and her partner begin a committed relationship with an individual who is willing to meet her needs, even as her relationship with her partner ends. They end up as a couple with their own family, and it is at this point that he learns that his son may be homosexual. Chapter 23. This chapter tells the story of a man who can no longer live with the guilt of how he has ruined his son’s life. But the truth about his son is far worse than anything he had imagined. Chapter 24. This is the final chapter. He has faced and accepted the truth about his own sexuality, even as it has damaged him and his family. Excerpt: Chapter 25. On the plane to Atlanta, when I was in the midst of one of my spells of depression, I asked myself what was going on with me. At first, it was a vague question. The only thing I was sure of was that I did not want to go on living the life I was living. No matter how angry or sad or ashamed I was, the only thought I had was that I did not want to go on living the life I was living. So I made the decision to leave. I decided to use my disability benefits to make a trip to Atlanta. I could go to college. I could move back home. Or, perhaps I could move out on my own. I could find a job and get married and live happily ever after. The thought of living in Atlanta made me smile, despite the fact that I had been on the streets. It was a place that I had never been before and I loved it. I wanted to get to know it and its people. I wanted to see the world through the eyes of the people there. It would be a time of experimentation and discovery and there was no reason not