Release me. Now. Or I will go without you." He did so, laughing merrily at his own foolishness. He did not realize how dangerous her anger was. "Good-bye, Tova," he said, and then he took the road before her and went home to his friends and his children and to the life he knew. She came home to her chamber. What else was there? It was her house now. She had tried. And she had failed. # CHAPTER FOUR **A T ONE IN THE morning, the woman stood in the courtyard, in a rain that never came, standing so close to the wall that it might have been any other woman who waited in this damp for the day to come. The sky was full of sunless clouds, and the air was thick and hot. She felt a sense of hopelessness, of having wasted her life.** **Yet this courtyard was clean and bright, as the house itself was. And there were no ghosts here, no shadows, only the woman who stood waiting.** **_I am coming, too,_** she thought, _I am here._ **She waited in the rain, and when she was weary, she walked in the sun.** **_I am waiting. I will always wait._** **In the end, all we do is wait, and in time we become accustomed to it.** **_In time we forget what it was to be. Or_** **_we forget the memory of what it was to be._** **— From the story _The Old Wife_ , by Jelilah of Selûne** **T** he next time she saw him, she was walking alone, far from the city. He didn't recognize her, at first, in that long white coat. He came running to her, laughing and shouting her name, and when he caught her in his arms, she kissed him, laughing, too. _Tova,_ she said. _You are a long way from home._ Then he was gone, and she was lost, and she did not think she could ever find her way out again. # CHAPTER FIVE **C at and the children loved it, that palace and the manor house.** All of them were happy there. In winter, they had a great house, and in summer, they had a smaller one; and there were fields of flowers and green lawns, too. He found a home in it. The others played at war and at dice, at music and games and horseplay. The women and children grew and grew, and Tova was there, a constant companion. One day, a few months after her wedding, he and she took a long walk down to the sea, near the palace. They talked, or else they said nothing, but it seemed to Avshalom that they were closer than ever before. The wind blew salt into their faces, and the water was cold. _The sea is the sea_ , he thought. He walked farther and farther, and the wind grew stronger, until the clouds above them were roiling and black. "Do you want to return?" he asked her. _I do_ , she said. _I do._ They sat together on a stone by the water's edge and stared out over the gray, rolling sea. The wave crested, and then there was a splash, and another. A fish dove, and then another. "Tell me about the children," she said, and he laughed. "Why do you want to know?" She hesitated. "It is not fair to tell them all the things I think of when I look at you." "I am flattered," he said. "I can hardly say the same." "It's only that you have always been so strong," she said, "and they... they are not." He sighed. "They are not. You do not have to think of me in the same way, or worry about how to protect them." She touched his face. "I can," she said. He smiled. "You have grown up far more quickly than I, or any other man I know." She touched his face again. "They are not," she said. "No," he said. "They are not. They are more like you than me, in that. And that has always been true." She touched his face once more, and then laid her head on his shoulder. He said, "When you look at me, you are seeing me as the father of your children. But I am seeing you as _me_. Or at least, as the woman who loves me." She stood then, wiping her eyes. She said, "I will see to the children, but then, I will walk back. You need not wait." He watched her until she was gone, and then he returned to his study, with its tall bookcases and wide windows. He found paper in his room, and sat down to write a poem for her. # CHAPTER SIX **W e are all made up of parts that grow and age.** **We lose parts—our friends, our children.** **Then we lose the parts that make us.** **The time to have loved is now.** **— From the verse of Avshalom of Kistan** **B** elated, Shuran found Aryn seated on a bench in the gardens. She looked up at him, and he smiled and sat beside her. He set his hand on her knee. She sighed. "I was never to marry," she said. "Never, never to wed." He took her hand and pressed her knuckles together. "You are beautiful," he said. "I love you, too." She stood then and pulled him up. She had her arm about his neck, and kissed him. The time was late. Already the moon was rising. Aryn smiled and said, "Come with me." They walked along the path to the palace, and she led him into the great hall. He was not surprised to find a banquet laid out on the table—on the sideboard, there were loaves of warm bread still in their baskets, and bowls of roasted meat and fruits. On the marble floor, several men sat eating, and others stood about, talking or drinking wine. "You see," said Aryn. Shuran nodded. "I see," he said. They walked into the garden and along the path to the house. Shuran led her to a small pavilion, one of many built on the grounds. He opened the curtains, and they stepped inside. Aryn seated herself on the bench inside and he sat down beside her. Shuran put his arm around her shoulders. "I am sorry about your mother," he said. "So am I," Aryn said. She sighed. "I will never forgive her. She hurt me, and hurt my family." Shuran touched her cheek. "Her actions were cruel and selfish. She did not hurt us. She hurt herself." Aryn put her hand on Shuran's. "If she had acted differently, if she had given us even a moment's warning that it would hurt us, it would not have happened. But we had to suffer, because of her." "I know," Shuran said. "And even now, I know how hard it will be for you. There is more I must tell you." Aryn sat up straight. "There is no need for you to tell me anything." "No," he said, "I do not want you to think badly of me. But I will tell you. We are married, by law, and you are my wife." She nodded. "I have been thinking of it all day." She touched his cheek. "Why, Shuran? I did not wish to marry. Why did you do this? I don't want you to lie to me." "There is no need," he said. "I am proud of what I did, and I will not lie to you." Aryn nodded, then smiled. "Of course, now you can't let me go." He laughed. "No, you cannot. It is the end of all of our plans, but we must make the best of it, eh? If you stay with me, we will be married in the Temple of Tempus. It is what you want, but we must do it to save your people from death and disgrace." Aryn shook her head. "Your people, Shuran. I am only one person. They cannot expect you to stay with a woman and father children if it goes against your sense of honor." Shuran sat back. "You are wrong. It is as much my honor as it is yours. And I do not feel dishonored by it. You do not need to do this, you know. We have no children. I will not force you to this, not you, Aryn. I love you, I love you beyond all else. But the gods demand it of us." Aryn looked away, and he touched her cheek. "You are tired," he said. "You must rest. Tomorrow we will be together again. But for now, my love, let us rest." Aryn wrapped her arms about his neck and said, "It has been so long since anyone touched me." Shuran kissed her hand, and stood. He opened the curtain and stepped out into the garden. He walked to a bench set against one of the small stone buildings and sat. The moon was so bright it cast shadows on the wall. He closed his eyes and did not think. He was thinking of the future when he looked up and saw Aryn. She stood by the curtain and looked at him. She touched his hand, and he could feel her touch through his gloves. He stood and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her again. And then he said, "We will leave for Kistan soon. Tomorrow, perhaps. I have much to do before we leave." "Yes," she said, and closed her eyes. "We must start then, and we will soon be far away from this place." "It will not be easy," he said. "We must find a way to get to our friends. And there are things I must tell them, too." "We must," said Aryn. "They will have much to tell us." He pulled her closer, and as he kissed her, he heard a cry from somewhere in the house. * * * It took longer to find her than Avshalom had thought. The servants in the city who dealt with such matters for them were not eager to give up their knowledge. Finally the Lord of the Great City said, "I know a man who can tell you. He is a servant in the palace. Go there now, while the man is awake, or you may not find him." Avshalom followed the servant across the city. He was led through the narrow streets and across a wide, empty field. At length, they came to a wall that had been built to block the passage of invading armies. The door was locked. The servant knocked. After a while, the door opened, and a guard stood on the other side. "Who comes?" he asked. "I am Lord Avshalom of Kistan. This is the Lord of the Great City. Let us in, and quickly, or we will find out from others." The guard opened the door. "What is it you seek, and what will you pay me?" "We seek Mirdin of the Order, or his son." "You are here for him? He is not here, nor his son." "We know he is here. He is in the palace. Please, let us speak with him. We have urgent need of him." The guard scratched his head. "He is in the palace?" "Yes. He has been there for some days. Let us in. You will gain a good reward for your help, and if he is as you say, you will gain our gratitude." "If he is in the palace, why did you not say so before?" "Because you need to see him. Tell us where he is, and if you take us to him, you will be very rich, for a very long time. It will be the finest of houses." The guard shrugged. "He is in a fine chamber in the tower. Go and see for yourself." Avshalom looked at the Lord of the Great City. "This is Mirdin of the Order," he said. "He is in the tower. Let us take the guards and go to him." The guard stepped back, out of the way. "Go, then, but be quick." The two Lords walked across the empty field. When they reached the wall, Avshalom said, "Look," and he pointed. The Lord of the Great City looked, and smiled. "He has many sons." "Who is this?" asked Avshalom. "I am the Lord of the Great City." Avshalom felt his breath caught in his throat. "Who are you? What do you know of the Order?" "I am the Lord of the Great City. Who are you?" "Avshalom of Kistan, Lord of the Hundred Cities." "Ah, yes. I remember you now. You are a new Lord, yes? I am the Lord of the Great City, or have been for some time, and I remember a long time ago a man named Avshalom of Kistan. I was a younger man then. Perhaps I was a child." "And the Order? What of it?" "I know little of it. Mirdin was my master. What became of him?" Avshalom shook his head. "I am sorry to say I do not know." The servant appeared, and the Lord of the Great City said to him, "I have guests I must attend to." "The guard will escort you to your chambers," the servant said, and the Lords of Kistan and the Great City left. The servant looked at the tower and sighed. "Why was it there was only a woman in this house? Where are the children?" Avshalom felt a chill run down his spine. "I think I know," he said. * * * "I will stay," said Aryn.