Not Sure Where I Stand Not sure about the direction a relationship is heading? Well, that’s no good. What was it with one person telling me, “Well, I’m not really sure where we stand,” but then I’m not sure where we stand? I said to them “Well, I really need to know that,” and they replied “I just am not sure how to be that person.” Well, guess what? That’s not how you want to be in a relationship either. Not sure if someone likes you or not? Well, that’s the way you don’t want to feel about a person either. But what’s a girl to do when you find yourself in this sort of situation? And perhaps it starts in the beginning of the relationship, or it starts in the middle of the relationship. You just want to know that. Do not ask, “Am I a romantic person or am I not?” I’m going to call it a hunch that you are not a romantic person, but this is what you want to find out. So there’s this guy who I really like. And I want to let him know that. And sometimes I will text him or call him and ask him out. It’s not a big thing. But sometimes I’m not sure if he’s into me or not. Maybe that’s a hard thing to admit, but sometimes you get those feelings for someone, and you want to be honest with them and you want to know if they’re into you. That’s a very real thing and it’s OK if they’re not into you. So what do I do? Well, let’s just say you want to know if someone likes you or not. Well, what do I do? Well, I’m going to start with you’re a girl, so it’s going to be different than a guy. Because girls know to wait for guys and not the other way around. Here’s what you do if a guy wants you to wait for him. Wait for him! Or at least wait until you feel like it’s right. Because that’s how you want to feel. So you want to feel that, “This is what I want right now.” If you just go too fast. If you just go to a guy and be like “Hey, would you like to go out?” when you don’t even know if they’re into you or not, then, well, I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t go that route. If you want to feel that, then you’ve got to wait for him. Now, you have to do it. But I’m just saying that’s the right way to go about it. If a girl is the one asking out, wait for him! Just be patient and wait for him! Now that doesn’t mean just wait around for him to ask you. That’s the most painful thing! You have to be a little bit smarter and think “What am I going to say if he asks me out?” If you want to know if someone likes you or not, there’s the thing. Because maybe you’re afraid to ask. But you know it’s coming. He or she is going to ask you out. So the sooner you figure out if he or she is into you, the better off you’ll be. So look, as a woman, you have to figure out the dating game. So maybe it’s your thing to ask the guy out. But I suggest that you figure out if he or she is into you first. The guy has to take the lead on that one. He has to be the one who takes the first step and then he can say, “Yeah, I’d like to go out,” or “I don’t want to go out right now.” But again, it’s a lot more fun for you if you want to make him ask you out. So that’s the dating game. But the sad thing is, there are guys who just aren’t very romantic. There are guys who aren’t very romantic. And if he’s not a romantic person, then he’s just not going to be a very romantic person in the relationship. And it’s hard to fall in love with someone that you aren’t very comfortable with being romantic. You want someone who can make you feel romantic, but it takes two to tango. I think that the guys on this show are also really romantic guys, but, you know, they’re not always going to be that way and sometimes you can’t help that. But for the guys who are romantic, the guys who are not very good at expressing their feelings, but they really are not. Because they can be the nicest guy and you just can’t see that because they just don’t have those skills. So you want someone who is going to be romantic and wants to express his or her feelings to you. That’s what’s going to be romantic for you. So I’m sorry, that’s how it is. I don’t mean to be rude, but I do not know how to make people be this way and I’m just telling you my experience. I know it can be a little annoying to hear that. Oh, I’ve got it now. Well, maybe that’s good, maybe not so good. I think you know where this is going. To answer your question, there’s this thing that I’m still working on myself. That I have been working on myself, but I just need to work on it more. What is it? It’s being very patient. I think it’s a lot easier to be patient than to be romantic. You have to see, I just want everything to be perfect, so I have to be the kind of person that is very romantic. And I can’t do that for you guys. There are many people that are very romantic with me and it’s amazing how I’ve learned to not be super frustrated by that. But it is hard. But if you guys want a super romantic man, then you can give it your best shot. But it takes a long time for me to even feel like I know him. I feel like I only really get to know a person over a very long time. But maybe I need to do better at finding the time and wanting to know my guy better in these three months. There is some truth to that. I think it really, really takes work for both people to really be able to make this romantic. That doesn’t mean that you have to make a special date or a special plan, it’s just kind of like: it’s about the time and the effort. It doesn’t have to be a special day that you need to plan for. But you have to be willing to put in the effort and you have to be willing to open your heart a little bit more. If there is anything that I would advise guys, it’s to put some effort into it. You have to show her that you love her and you have to listen. You have to listen to what she says. You have to ask her how she feels about what’s going on and what she’s going through. You can’t know everything, so sometimes that’s what needs to be said. Well, it’s your choice to listen to it. It’s very important. Because in your mind, she’s like this, you’re like that, but in her head, she’s thinking something else. You have to figure out her head and then take her to that place, because that’s where it is for her. You have to show her that you love her and that you’re going to make her feel safe and cherished. So she feels your love. That’s the love she wants. That’s all you can ask for. That’s all you can ask for. You cannot make someone love you or not, but you can make them feel the things that you want them to feel. That’s all you can do. You have to do that for yourself, to make yourself feel those things. I just don’t know how to say it, but there has to be a way to get yourself over there and feel safe with the person that you want. There’s only one way to get to that place, you know. So it’s like, maybe you try something out. But maybe it’s more of a learning experience than anything. Maybe it’s a way to see if someone’s right for you. But if you don’t have that, then that’s how it is. You never want to be that guy or that girl who feels alone. You never want to be that guy or that girl who doesn’t get a second date. You never want to be that guy or that girl who feels like she isn’t loved or isn’t appreciated. All we’re trying to do is find someone who shares those similar things with us. We all just want to feel accepted and felt loved. I mean, if you’re thinking about who we are as people, we all want that. So just find someone who has similar feelings about that. And someone who can share those feelings with you. There are guys who like you,