The Ultimate Shock There are a couple of important considerations to keep in mind while talking about the ultimate shock. The first is that many people mistake it for a personal failing and an indication of a lack of fortitude. That is not the case. This phenomenon is often a defense mechanism, a way of keeping ourselves and others safe. If an ultimate shock triggers a fight-or-flight reaction within the mind, that is the way the brain is designed to keep us safe. Many things can trigger a fight-or-flight reaction in our brain including the loss of something we love. When you ask for time to adjust after a shock in this world it is unlikely that anyone will be receptive to your request. When you ask for time to adjust after a shock in this world it is unlikely that anyone will be receptive to your request. You are required to get over your own shock and be ready to go about your business again. There are ways that you can help yourself make this adjustment but it is not a good idea to blame yourself if you find that you cannot accomplish your goal of getting past a large loss. A large loss in this world is a shock to anyone who has lived. It is a shock to anyone who has loved. In many ways it is the shock of your life. Even though that might seem absurd to most of us, it is true. Many people who experience a tragic loss, even a very large one, do not fully accept it as a tragedy until many years after it happens. When we experience a shock in this world the shock is the end result of many past thoughts and memories. So the trick is to recognize the shock when it comes but also be aware that it is the result of past thoughts and memories and that you will only fully understand it in the future. Be open to a full understanding. When you are ready for it, you can get to work recovering. When you are ready for it, you can get to work recovering. Some people will use the words shock, tragedy, and loss as synonyms but there are important distinctions between them that we should look at. Tragedy and loss are synonymous as in a tragedy of war or a loss of innocence. While these are the most extreme losses we experience, we tend to use these terms to describe the more common losses that happen in our everyday lives. A loss of a relationship, a loss of a job, a loss of a relationship, a loss of a home, these things can cause trauma in our lives. Shock, in our everyday life, is smaller than these things. But it is a powerful force because it taps into the emotional part of the brain that stores our emotional memories. It draws on our past memories to produce pain and negative emotion. And we do have a hard time dealing with that pain and emotion because it is linked to an extreme emotional response like a fight or flight. Tragedy is a tragedy. Loss is a loss. Shock is a shock. Now you know that when you experience an ultimate shock that is the end result of your past thoughts and experiences. You are experiencing a shock. But you are also experiencing a loss of a relationship or an asset, the loss of employment, or the loss of a home. You have a loss, but it is still not a tragedy. The key to dealing with shock is to be mindful of the fact that it is not the loss itself that is a tragedy, it is the way you feel in response to that loss that makes it traumatic for you. You are not supposed to stop and mourn the loss, you are supposed to take the time to accept that loss as reality, and move on. You can be mindful of your feelings by asking yourself questions such as: What have I lost? Why do I feel this way? What do I need to heal? Answers to these questions will lead you to the next step of grief, that of acceptance. When you are ready to begin to move past a shock it will become more possible for you to heal the trauma that you have experienced. You might even ask yourself a third question, why do I need to let go of my shock? For most people, the shock of a loss that leads to trauma, will end in the mourning phase of grief. Mourning involves being mindful of the loss and allowing yourself to feel and express that loss. Most important in mourning is accepting the loss as reality and realizing the losses significance in your life. This is called accepting reality and comes later in the recovery process. For most people, it is not difficult to accept the loss of a loved one. It is not a pleasant experience and many of us can move through the loss in months. In our families our loved ones will not leave our lives forever. This is not a shock like losing an inheritance but it is still a loss. A shock is a shock because you are not prepared for it. It is something you had not thought about and it comes upon you as a surprise. This is different than mourning which is still a shock to the system. It may be a surprise to you that you are mourning the loss but the mourning is still a shock to your system. It may take some time to accept the loss as reality. An important key to keep in mind is that the shock of a loss is temporary. We often think of it as eternal because we cannot really wrap our minds around a loss being temporary. But the shock is just that – a shock – it has nothing to do with reality but everything to do with how our brain has evolved to deal with shocks to our system. Mourning is the shock of the loss that is not temporary. It is the stage of the grief cycle that takes most people the longest to get past. We often think of mourning as an automatic state of being because we expect it to be a common reaction after a loss but mourning is a shock in itself. This shock will pass as well but it can be lengthy depending on the loss and the person. It is important to remember that you will move through all of the different stages of grief. Not always in order, but you will move through all of them and you will complete the entire grief process. You might want to read our blog about denial for those times when you need to accept the loss as reality. If you are having trouble with mourning and moving on from a shock it might be that your mind is unable to wrap itself around the shock of it all. When you need to accept the shock it can be difficult to even imagine that everything will go back to normal for you in time. It is important to remember that losses are temporary and that a loss will heal itself just like any other physical wound will. It may not be right away, but it will heal. Shock and mourning are very close in that they are both stages of the grieving cycle. A shock is the end result of memories and feelings from a loss and the healing process begins when you are able to accept the loss as reality. Once you have accepted the loss as reality, that is when you can accept the loss. Acceptance is what makes life bearable for us once again. Acceptance is the stage of grief that allows us to feel. Acceptance is when we are able to put a label on the shock and start our process of healing. Shock and denial are similar in that you are trying to deal with a loss that is so shocking that your mind refuses to accept it. But acceptance of a loss is what allows us to get back to living. Acceptance is not something that happens overnight. Acceptance is a process and it is one that takes a lot of time. It can take a few months or a few years depending on how long you need to heal. The goal is to accept the reality of the loss, accept that it is not just a bad dream or a nightmare and then work to accept the loss itself. That is all we have to share with you about ultimate shocks today and we hope that you are better equipped to move past your shocks once and for all. Did you like this article? 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