No Pain, No Gain’? It may have seemed to Joe that his wife was never satisfied. But was that really the case? Is there any such thing as keeping a happy medium in our relationships? What do you think? Are we sometimes so focused on one thing that we miss out on others? Avoiding Conflict? Have you ever gone so far as to avoid family meetings and try to steer clear of conflict and disagreements? Does that work in the long run? Should you make a concerted effort to be more sensitive to your spouse and to avoid upsetting him or her? Or are there times when you need to step up to the plate and not back down, even if the topic is something you may disagree with? Abandonment or Rejection? Did you see that episode of Touched By An Angel where a mother is shown holding her dying baby on the lap of a chair and looking out at a sea of love, joy and compassion? It was just one of those powerful messages that so many of us can relate to and empathize with on the deepest levels. But did you also notice how quickly the scene changed? The baby in the chair was all by himself. He was lonely. The mother abandoned him, and he was left with nowhere to go, nothing to do. Would you even know what to do if you were in that situation? Would you ever wish to abandon your husband or your wife, or would you fight with all your strength to keep him or her? No matter how good you are in a given moment, someone could still reject you. Why? They could leave. Or they could reject you by saying something hurtful, by showing disinterest or by distancing themselves from you. As a result, the trust between husband and wife could be broken, along with any chances of achieving love and intimacy. What do you think? How can you keep the relationship going if one partner rejects you? What does the Bible say about the rejection of loved ones? What can you do about it if it happens? How can you maintain a bond in a situation such as this? Do We Really Know What It Means To Love Someone Unconditionally? One of the most common misunderstandings about unconditional love is that to love someone unconditionally means you do not have standards for what you expect from them. Many times, people assume that unconditional love means there are no standards or boundaries. The reality is just the opposite. It’s all about expectations and limitations and not so much about limitations in our thinking. So, What Does It Take To Love Someone Unconditionally? Do you ever feel that your love for your children is unconditional? Yes, in some cases, we really do love our children unconditionally. But that doesn’t mean there are no boundaries. There are limits on how we treat our children. There is a limit as to how we raise them, care for them, teach them and love them. Have you ever heard of that saying: “You love someone like you love yourself?” The reality is that there is a way to love others that has no limits. I’m talking about a love so strong that no matter what the circumstance, it will never be shaken, never be lessened. That kind of love is true unconditional love. But how do we get there? Where does it come from? How does it work? That’s what we’re going to look at today. What does it take to be able to love someone unconditionally? What does the Bible say about unconditional love? What does the Bible have to say about love in general? Are we really good at it? Are we capable of it? Can You Lose The ‘Unconditional Love’ Title Because Of Bad Behavior? There is something called the ‘unconditional love’ syndrome. Let me explain. If you let go of an idea, principle or belief, if you do so because it is not a good principle to live by, that doesn’t make you an unloving person. You simply made a change because you recognized it was best for you to do so. Are you saying that even though you lost your husband, your wife or your children, that they don’t deserve love or to be loved? Absolutely not. Your unconditional love for them remains even though you lost them. That’s what unconditional love is. It is a type of love that doesn’t change. Even if the relationship ends, it doesn’t mean you no longer love that person. A friend and I discussed this a few weeks ago. We said we both would go through anything for our spouses, even if they were abusive or if they were not treating us well. It would never change the unconditional love between us for each other. I think of it like this: unconditional love is like a friendship that extends beyond death. You may have lost a loved one, but your love for that person is eternal and unconditional. Sometimes, we take unconditional love for granted. We might forget to treat a spouse with the love that they need and deserve because we are so distracted by the things of life. Are you treating your spouse as if he or she is “God’s person” or because your spouse was born of God? Is your marriage or relationship the type of relationship that will last forever? Have You Lost A Beloved Spouse? Is there anyone you’ve ever lost that you loved more than anything else in the world? And if so, is there anyone that could come along and take that loved one away from you? In some cases, it has happened. We’ve seen a lot of this in the news recently with the death of celebrities. What about those “unlikely” relationships that end up growing together in their own special way, never to be parted? But if something does happen to them or their partners, does that mean that their love is unconditional? What does the Bible say about unconditional love? We’re going to be looking at that later this afternoon. Love Has To Be “Driven By Love” And Never By Selfish Desire We’ve said before that there is a big difference between self-love and self-centeredness. We’ve said that self-centeredness breeds selfishness. In that situation, we’ve said you would never love the way you have been taught in the Bible to love. It has to be done by the power of God’s Spirit that flows through you. It has to be a love driven by love. God’s Love Is Strong Enough To Change Any Person We have talked about the power of God’s love. But it’s not just something that can be read in a book. God’s love is strong enough to change any person. So what is the difference? Is it a matter of intensity? What does it mean to love someone as God loves? That was actually what the Bible teaches in Ephesians 5. Now that’s a great passage. In fact, this passage could be considered a verse that deals with love and its relationship to God. God’s love is powerful enough to change anyone. If you have the same love that Christ has, then you can experience an eternal life with him that will last forever. I think one of the most powerful lessons from Ephesians 5 is that in God’s eyes, there is no difference between rich and poor, the famous and the unknown, the man and the woman. God loves all equally. Is that not an amazing statement? But what are we supposed to do? Do you see what I mean? Do you get it? How are we to love anyone if we don’t even love ourselves? How is anyone going to follow through on something like that? Don’t Make Excuses; Your Love Can Make A Difference The Bible teaches that we are called to be good stewards of our lives and to use them to the glory of God and to the good of others. What are you doing with your life? Are you living for yourself or for God? Is your love for God so strong that it overshadows your love for yourself? Can you love God with all your being? Do you put your love for God ahead of all other things? God’s greatest command is this: Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful (Luke 6:36). When you put mercy and kindness ahead of selfishness and self-centeredness, you will reap the benefits. And those benefits will show up in your life and in the life of others. They’ll show up in their attitudes, their relationships and in their lives as well. The Power Of Mercy, How Does It Change You? “Mercy comes from heaven,” says the Apostle James. He didn’t say that mercy comes from a man or woman. He didn’t say that mercy comes from a church, a group or even from the home of a particular family. Mercy comes from God. It is out of love for God that God provides us the opportunity to be merciful. God is merciful. If you’re not living out of your love for Him, I wonder how much mercy you’re showing to God and to others as well? That’s one of the most powerful things we can do, as we have said before. It is the source of our power to bring about change, transformation and change in the lives of others. How much of a change can we see in the attitudes and behavior of others by living out of our love for them? The