But how did it happen? We didn’t even know him, he didn’t talk much, he never even looked at anyone, he just kept to himself. What were the odds that we would just happen to be there when he fell?” I ask: “How did it happen? We thought it was us and we were going to die. When I look back at it now, we were just kids. We weren’t hardened by life or by wars, so he took us apart. And the next day the world didn’t stop. Nothing was different. It was like the wind changed and then life moved on.” What happened? A bullet struck his helmet and entered his head. Somebody else’s mistake. As we have all seen from the news, as well as in our own personal lives, it just doesn’t matter who was in the wrong, whose fault it was, or if there was a fault. Death is forever. It can’t be undone. I, for one, have done so many things in life that I would have done differently. There are other things I would not have done or felt differently about. But none of it changes the fact that I have lost my father and mother. It changes nothing about the hurt and pain and agony of losing them. Yet, we continue. Day in, day out. We go about life, thinking about the things that happened years or even days ago. Then in the same moment we forget what is happening right now. The only thing that changes is the scenery. Everything else is the same. The pain and struggle we face now is only different from that of others in that the circumstances are different, but the pain is still real. What does it mean to be a man? In some cultures, manhood means doing something or being someone important. In other cultures, it means being ready to make decisions and be strong enough to carry them out. In other cultures, it means being brave or strong enough to face any of life’s situations. In other cultures, being a man simply means being ready to protect the women and children, or anyone for that matter, from danger. Some cultures even have a specific time, when a child is born or when a person comes into manhood, when they must take some sort of action or have a certain responsibility. But when a man is faced with a tragedy that could have been prevented or taken care of, what does it mean to be a man? When a man loses his father and mother, and then, years later, he loses his own life in a war in another country, when there is nothing he could have done to avoid it, how does he define himself? In the simplest terms, to be a man means never giving up. When we lose something or someone, we are reminded of how short our time here on earth really is. Then we are faced with the question of what we should do with our time. How should we spend it? In addition to helping others, how should we spend the time that God has given us? To be a man is to know how to survive. To be a man is to be able to stand in the midst of hell on earth and know that even if you do not want to live, you will. You will wake up tomorrow, get up in the morning and do whatever is necessary for you to survive, because you know that if you die, you die. Everything else pales in comparison. It is the ultimate test. Your friends might abandon you, your family might not know where you are, and your country might go to war, but your responsibility, your duty, your obligation to your family and friends is more important than your life. While this may not be the ultimate lesson in being a man, it is certainly true. For any man, be it a soldier or a civilian, the most important lesson is that you are responsible to survive. You must be ready to live for the rest of your life knowing that you made the choice to make a stand for your loved ones and you survived. It is hard to find the right words to say, but I know God has a way of knowing what we are thinking and what we need. He understands us better than we do ourselves. His presence is within us and he will help us get through any situation if we will only let him. Some people lose a loved one, but do not seem to suffer as much as others. God is teaching them something, and they are ready to accept the lesson. As for me, my father was killed by a sniper while out on a patrol. My mother is now dead, also. And my best friend was murdered by a sniper while I was away. There were witnesses. In the same country where my father and mother died. In the same war where my best friend lost his life. God knows what I am thinking. God will let me know who is in the wrong and who is in the right, but right now, while it is still very fresh, and every day is different and painful, He is showing me that He understands. He has called me to do a specific work that few have done or know about, but I am just as scared as anybody. The Bible says, “The fear of man lays hold of you, but He who puts his trust in the Lord shall be made strong.” And so I am, because the Lord is my strength. Share this: Like this: Related 3 responses to “Being A Man – Chapter 6” Hi, Johnnie. Wow! I want to read the rest of this and I will. Sometimes it’s good to have a person’s perspective. I always liked your writing style. I think you do a great job of explaining things and making it easy to understand what you’re writing about. That’s not easy at all. Thanks for the comments, Roxy. I really like the Bible verse you chose. I was a little surprised by the title because sometimes it can seem so distant, but after reading this one, it’s something I think about often. Thanks again. Thank you, Johnnie. I didn’t write anything about your father or your Mother but I’m so very sorry about the loss of both of them. I will continue to pray for your comfort and strength, for you and your family. And I really like the last line of your last post. So hard to find the right words to say. How do you know you’re even talking to God? I just hope you’re listening, as well as believing! God bless! I love you. Thank you, Nancy. I was just sitting here thinking about your words yesterday and how much more you and I probably have in common. Our loved ones passed before our eyes. While my heart hurts for you, it’s comforting to know that we are not alone.