It just dawned on me, that ʽwe\'ve been there and did that\' \[...\] there were people who had a lot of skills and were able to do a lot of things in the classroom \[...\] and some of them were not able to do the things that they wanted to do because there was some kind of a limit or restriction put upon their ability to participate. So I know I felt like an adult that had lived through this time, I know a lot of people felt that way, so that it made you want to do things with the kids.\"* ᚼ:21 -- ᚼ:34 \[Teacher\] 3.3. Being a Resident --------------------- Having experienced these events during their childhood had clearly impacted on the participants\' view of residence. They indicated they wanted the residence to be a place where everyone could have the chance to feel safe and secure. By this participants described their childhood trauma as a central issue of why they wanted the residence to be safe. *\"For me I know that I experienced a lot of things during my youth, so there are times when I feel afraid \[...\] I always make sure that I am safe and protected wherever I am. I feel it is a right of everyone to feel safe and protected because these were the times I was not protected.\"* ᚼ:34 -- ᚼ:55 \[Teacher\] 3.4. Becoming an Adult ---------------------- Feeling afraid and insecure in the community or in their homes made it hard for participants to imagine or think of themselves as adults. They talked about how their childhood trauma was still affecting their behavior and thought processes in their adulthood. For them their childhood experiences determined that they could not have their lives back. *\"When I was growing up I knew that there was this fear and there was this fear that always followed me. The fear was always with me, and I could never just let go of it and move on.\"* ᚼ:22 -- ᚼ:33 \[Teacher\] In this discussion the participants\' experiences as children and adults had a negative impact on their sense of becoming an adult. They talked about the time in their lives when they felt powerless to help themselves. *\"I don\'t think that as a child you were in a position to help yourself, because you were a child, you didn\'t have any idea how to help yourself and the way you were told to do things. You were told to behave in a certain way and do certain things so that you can get this, that or the other thing.\"* ᚼ:34 -- ᚼ:54 \[Teacher\] *\"Well for me I feel that even if I have the power to do something it doesn\'t mean that I am in a position to do what I want to do. Because my childhood experiences and memories and thoughts control my behavior and thinking processes \[...\] I don\'t think I am truly in a position to say that I can do what I want to do, and not what my past experiences want to do.\"* ᚼ:25 -- ᚼ:35 \[Teacher\] Participants talked about the experiences of living in poverty, having insecure housing, having inadequate or lack of medical care, or living with hunger and hunger-related diseases as a child. Being ill themselves or witnessing the pain of someone in their family brought back memories of their own childhood. This made it difficult for them to imagine being adult. They shared their stories about their parents and relatives. They reflected on their childhood experiences in order to better understand the experiences of their elders. \"ᚼ:51 -- ᚼ:53 I\'ve been a witness to my mom\'s hunger. At a certain time when I was younger, she used to eat from a neighbor\'s fruit, and I know that there were many times when she didn\'t have food. I would go to school hungry. I would come back to an empty bowl. Sometimes, when my mom was working at the factory, I would be there and eat from her bowl \[...\] because my mom didn\'t have a lot of food at home, she would eat with us.\" 3.5. Caring for the Elders -------------------------- In discussing their experiences of the children\'s home, participants reflected on the experiences of their parents. This often included recollections about people in their families who were ill or deceased. One participant was asked to share her memories of her mother\'s illness and its impact on her life. She then became very tearful and emotional as she told about her mother\'s illness and death. *\"It\'s just awful. In fact the very first thing I remember about my life, my mother being ill, and we moved from one place to another. I always remember that. Then I started going to school, and that\'s where it all started\"* ᚼ:28 -- ᚼ:32 \[Teacher\] Participants acknowledged that their relatives\' health conditions were affecting their mental health. They talked about feelings of loss because they could no longer help their relatives to be independent. In addition, they talked about being unable to do anything to take away their relatives\' illnesses. \"ᚼ:26 -- ᚼ:27 Well, it\'s a helplessness I feel because I can\'t do anything about it \[...\] even though it is something that affects me, I feel powerless, so I don\'t feel like anything can be done. I feel like I am trying to do something, but there is nothing I can do\" One participant was asked if there was anything he could do to help his mother now that she was ill. He said he would like to help by driving her to doctors\' appointments, and to do things with her that make her feel safe and loved. However, he is not in a position to do this. 4. DISCUSSION ============= This study explored how residential care affects children\'s memories and perceptions of the home and its people, and how the child\'s perception of the home\'s present conditions impacts the child\'s present-day behaviors. The participants in this study were mostly African American females between the ages of 18 and 45 years old. They were in residential care because of substance abuse or physical abuse in their home environments. Most of them had experienced childhoods marked by violence and loss. In order to understand the effects of this history on their behaviors, children and adolescents must have a sense of being in safe and secure environments. The literature has recognized that the participants\' feelings of safety may include attachment, safety for themselves and for others, stability and security, as well as feeling secure in the present \[[@R27],[@R28]\]. All these feelings of safety are directly connected to home and family \[[@R28]\]. Participants in this study who lived in residential care were all exposed to the same home environment. One exception is when one girl lived in a foster home. However, all girls shared the same set of memories and perceptions of that home. The feeling of safety, the participants describe, is an important factor that children must have access to if they are going to overcome the effects of their childhood experiences. When children experience and remember violence, they will continue to use the same type of behavior in the present. In other words, their emotional, physical, and psychological experiences in the home \[[@R27],[@R28]\]. This finding is similar to a previous study where children with histories of being abused became anxious in situations which resembled their earlier experiences \[[@R27]\]. When they react with violent behavior, they continue to use the same type of behavior. In this study the effect of violence on children was not only restricted to how they felt in that environment, but it was also reflected in the participants\' perceptions of home. The participants talked about their negative perceptions of safety in the home that were influenced by their past experiences. For example, many of the participants told about their relatives' and family members' addiction to drugs and alcohol. Other participants talked about witnessing someone\'s death or about some of the family members being shot or someone dying of illness. These types of traumatic experiences have been shown to be associated with mental health issues, especially post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, and it has been found to affect one\'s memory for the events \[[@R27],[@R29],[@R30]\]. Therefore, some of the participants in this study who lived in fear and insecurity in the home might have been more susceptible to develop mental health issues. One might suggest that when young children have not felt protected and safe in their environments, that they would naturally fear the world outside of the home, and to grow up, they would continue to be fearful of the outside world. Additionally, feelings of loneliness and uncertainty are likely to result in feelings of helplessness, mistrust, and hopelessness. Many studies on trauma and PTSD show how the experience of being helpless in the face of overwhelming situations affects children and youth \[[@R27],[@R31],[@R32]\]. In this study, being raised in residential care might have allowed participants to witness how other individuals interacted with one another and that affected how they interacted with others. This was also shown in how they acted towards each other. This suggests that the experiences participants had in residential care as well as their past trauma, have affected the way they think and act in the present. As a result, some participants may have been reluctant to trust other individuals and have difficulties making close personal relationships. These feelings may have increased their vulnerability in the present, even though they were living in