Your heart is all I own, I could give my very life for you. You mean everything to me, I'd be good, if only for you. I am not afraid to die. For this love I'd gladly die. I can't think of anyone else. I've given you my all. What greater gift could you receive? "So how does love make you feel, when you sing about love and all that love stuff?" "Like a goof. You can't really just throw those words out there without something to back them up." One singer added, "I feel more like a wimp" but went on to say that she always feels "guilty if I don't say something to someone." And one more singer, "I feel like crap after I sang 'love' because it is such a cliché." This prompted another singer, "Maybe it has something to do with the times, maybe the world is just a little messed up and love has been diminished. We have just gotten past the idea of it." "A lot of young women don't like to admit it but they feel pressured to be 'in love' when they get married. I think they feel pressured because of what they see and hear around them every day. Women should not feel like they have to get married because everybody else does. "Young women need to realize that you are not in a relationship until you are married. Before then, you're in a relationship with your family and maybe your close friends. If they love you, it is all that should matter." "I love my wife. She's all I've ever wanted. She's perfect. I love her. I will always love her. She is my best friend. She is my world. She keeps me young and beautiful. I love my wife! I would lay down my life for her." "I love him. We have three great kids together. We have two beautiful daughters. He's an amazing father. He's a great husband and he's a wonderful person. I am his best friend. I don't know what I would do without him. He's the love of my life." "There have been times when I felt loved and cared for by others, and the relationship ended before anything permanent developed. I have spent several years believing that something is wrong with me. "I have learned that there is no "loved" or "unloved," only the same person as before. I have learned that the "hurts" and "fears" are just the emotions that go with the temporary feeling of disconnection." Some of the same comments were heard about being "liked" or "disliked" as well. "No one wants to be disliked or hated. I don't want to be the outcast who doesn't care. So I do my best to be the "perfect person" that people don't mind." "I'm just saying I like the people I like. And I guess, I have a few close friends and a couple of 'very close' friends." This is one of the most difficult things to explain to a child. It comes as a shock to a child that it is ok not to be loved. Most parents have never told their child that it's ok for a person to dislike them. Often, people do not understand that some children feel differently from others. Even the school system does not want to believe it when the school counselor brings up this subject. When it comes to teenagers, it's even more difficult. School counselors do not want to believe it when a student is unhappy with how they are being treated by their peers and how unhappy they are in school. Some parents will come in for counseling sessions and say to the teacher, "My daughter has been disliked by the kids in the class. They just don't like her." It's amazing what these kids can do to themselves, when it comes to making themselves the focal point of attention. Some kids like attention and others don't. Others are really not at all concerned about how they are being treated. "Oh it doesn't matter, I'm not that important to begin with. I'm not going to let that stuff affect me too much." If you have one parent who loves and one parent who hates, chances are the child is going to fall into that category. How could they not? They have to live in one of those two worlds, or split their time between the two places. That's not the easiest of things to do. "The most important thing for parents to remember is that every child is different. And there are a lot of pressures on kids today, like media pressure and the idea of success and money. You're not going to be popular with everybody. It's just not possible." "Some of us are lucky and get to walk away from a bad relationship. If you are one of those lucky ones, you should share the secret with someone else who is not so lucky." "I'm not really feeling it at this moment. I would like to feel closer to you, but I don't know what I can do to be more in touch with you. I know I'd like to feel closer to you." "I feel like we've just gotten into an interesting situation. Maybe it's a passing thing. Just let it go. I don't think I can do much about it. I just want to forget that it ever happened. I'm hoping it will never happen again." "It's not that hard to forget. It's really not that big of a deal." Many teens try to cover up the feelings they had and pretend that nothing ever happened. And yet, it is hard to forget an incident when you have been used and disliked. Even the incident where you were treated nice. You feel disliked or used, you don't feel good about yourself and you think, "Did it happen again? Did they try that one more time? How many times do I have to say, 'stop?' I don't like being in this position." Maybe they didn't do it purposely. They just wanted to win you over. It might be a situation that can be changed, just by being open about it. I had been on several trips through the desert at the time I started writing this book. I felt as though I could relate the desert to feeling rejected and unwanted. When I had read from the book to students of my college classes and even to some of my students in one of my classrooms, they had all agreed that what they had felt was true. And all their reactions were similar to the "reactions" I had heard from the people I had interviewed, in order to write this book. People want to be wanted. What the desert feels like is empty and worthless and no one wants to be there. It is painful to be outside for long periods of time. Most of the time you want to go home and feel comfortable and protected. I had tried to take all of the people's feelings and give them a human face. I had worked hard at listening to their feelings, in order to try and help them. We need to make it easier for kids to go to the teacher or the school counselor, when they are feeling this way. There is always a very real possibility that a child will try to run away from home because of abuse and abandonment. They will hide their feelings of rejection and hatred toward their parent(s) or those who treat them unkindly. Maybe you should watch for changes in your child's habits and do your best to notice if they are not eating, sleeping, sleeping with others, etc. Remember that a teenager's brain is not developed enough for them to understand what is going on. The only thing the teenager can do, is repeat the same pattern that was done with them. If they have been treated this way before, they might not be sure how to change their actions and habits. Sometimes they just need some help and a listening ear. Many teens need to feel safe before they can make the changes that might be necessary. Some of these teens have been living this way for a long time and are happy to stay in this type of pattern, just because it's familiar and they have gotten used to it. Their parents might be confused and frustrated with their teen. Sometimes it takes a long time for parents to realize that their teen is unwilling to change. When the teen feels that everyone is against them, it's hard for them to see it as just "who they are". And the adult is wondering, "What are they trying to do?" I'm not suggesting that a parent will have to change their parenting style or techniques. I'm just suggesting that the child might not really have a "bad" or "good" personality. It may be a mix of how they were treated in life and who raised them. You need to be sensitive to their needs. But, it also might be a matter of changing a child's mindset. Just as one must do with a dog that won't come when called, and you start calling it in various ways, one must do with a child who isn't willing to change. One has to use various techniques to try and train the animal. It isn't easy. Changing a person's attitude is just as hard as it is to train an animal. Some children have only heard "no". The one thing you want to be aware of is, if you see a change in your teen that they have not had before, and if they are more emotional than usual, watch to see