We're a Hot Mess, the story of two best friends and their band. The lead guitarist decides that it's time to get out of the band and leaves the rest of the band in the cold. I am determined to do what he did. I've been through a lot with those boys, I tell you what." Here is some of the song lyrics... "You can be a Hot Mess too, if you are lucky. But don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, because I can see right through you." Well, this is where the drama comes in. I am now on the outside looking in, watching the boys I once considered family self destruct. This band is my life. They used to know it, because they all told me so, and now I am left hanging and wondering why I thought so highly of them that I invested so much time into them? I'll give you a minute to wipe your eyes. Let's look at the evidence: The Lead guitarist and leader of the band has changed. I'm not writing about any old band member's behavior here, I'm referring to all three members. The guy once considered to be the "muscle" in the band has turned into a sniveling little crybaby. While they were still together I would see him go on and on about how they all had his back, and then they would all tell me how close he was to the other two. I would often leave with the impression that this guy is very important to them. This is NOT the behavior I saw. This is not the guy who knew who to give the business to, how to talk to us and his new best buddy's girl, where the drugs and alcohol would be found. He is a different man, and while it is sad and hard for me to say it, it seems to be obvious that he's given up, is depressed and just does what he does to make a living and stay occupied. At least he has his friends. While I can't do anything to help him, I can do everything in my power to be aware of his condition. I refuse to be part of the cover-up. The drummer also left. This one is sad because he's a great kid. I am so glad he found his calling in life. He's living it. He found his niche, he got his band, and his art school. He was proud and happy. He's all about his band, and he's really good at what he does. Now he's left, but that isn't the problem. The problem is that he left with another person, and he got along with this person better than me. The guy who replaced him is a great guy and a damn good drummer, but after hearing that the drummer had moved on, I would hear him complain about the same stuff, the same way the drummer would, and it seemed as if it was the same to him. It's as if he had no heart to stand up to me, and no backbone to speak to me the way he spoke to the drummer, whom I now consider a friend and a brother. So while the band is now working as it was meant to be, it is not the same for me. I feel as though I have lost my bandmates, and I am not going to go through that again. They tried, one of them tried to say goodbye. The bassist told me he was leaving the group, and I was in shock. He is one of those guys who knew exactly how to say what he needed to say. No matter what. His words were always direct, and always appropriate. I knew he didn't need to say what he said because he loved his friends and would be leaving anyway. He is a great man and one of the few who will admit to just how great he is. We would sit in his garage and talk while I played him songs to sing to me. He would tell me what I needed to hear, in his own special way. So when he said goodbye, I was shocked. Why was he doing it? Wasn't he happy with them? Wasn't this just like saying good bye to me? Was he trying to tell me something? In the end I can say that the three of them are happier now, and I know they are happy, but just knowing that won't help me. I need more. This is not what I signed up for when I put my life in the hands of music. I am still here, the same me. What am I? They are a part of who I am. They were there from the beginning. My friends are gone, and I am left to figure out what this is all about. Why did we stop being friends? I have no more answers than I did before. I am simply sad that I lost three very good friends. I am not going to lie about this, and I don't think this is something that should be ignored. These people are my world. We were there together since we were children. We are not that old, we are not as young as we were. I am just as much an idol to these people as they are to me. To put the idea of growing up and maturing into the equation just doesn't make sense. These are men and women with families. Children with school and jobs to go to, their own lives, and other problems. I want them all to grow up, but I am still too young. It is the same for them, and they aren't the same people as they once were. We are not the same. This whole experience has me questioning what it means to grow up, and that is very discouraging. There are things I would like to be aware of, about what happens to people who leave their bands, but not the band that I found. And if I can't feel like I belong anywhere, who can I feel that way for? I can feel that way about my family, and my friends, and what makes me feel like that seems to be impossible. I love them all, but I must change. I must get a life, and I need to find my place in the world. It is my obligation to follow the advice of my elders, and start putting myself first. I don't think anyone believes this, but I've been through a lot of changes. This one is the hardest. This one is actually changing me. About Me We are not professional musicians. The kind of life this blog reflects is not as common in the lives of most people. We live in different places, all around the world. Our ages range from 26 to 57 years old. Our past occupations include, medical professional, travel agent, carpenter, and more. Our interests vary, but one thing is true, we are all searching for truth in this life of sin. The experiences we share here are real and reflect our real lives. Please consider our experiences as you draw your own conclusions and always seek to be discerning when it comes to reading about other people's beliefs. Our only hope is that this blog might bring people closer to God. Followers Blog Archive Diva My Beloved Wife. She leads me down the path to my destiny and shows me love, kindness, and compassion in all things. Jesus Christ The Love of my life. My Life, My Lord, My everything. Jesus has changed me. He saved me. He redeemed me. He pulled me out of darkness into his marvelous light, and I am now His, and He is mine. The Scriptures The Holy Bible. God's divine instruction to us. All I do starts with the Word. There is so much to learn from His Word. If you are serious about growing as a Christian, read it and apply it to your life. If you're not sure, read it and see. John 3:16 16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life