Stick it up your ass." "You're an agent." "All right." "Say "cheese."" "Uh, no." "This is impossible." "No, I know." "It's okay." "Just do it." "Don't fuck around." "Don't be afraid." "Own it!" "Say "cheese."" "Oh, my God!" "I can smell your farts from here!" "Holy shit!" "Thanks!" "That's a gift!" "You kids are so fuckin' rude!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "You..." "Oh, you..." "Thanks." "Shh!" "Thanks for comin' in." "A'ight, a'ight." "I'm gonna be back in a second." "One of you suck my dick." "Awesome." "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "How're you doin'?" "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "No, I'm..." "My friends and I were just wondering," "If we maybe could, uh, join you guys?" "Join me in what?" "What are you talking about?" "The corps." "The corps." "The kids..." "The kids corps?" "Look, kids, you got the wrong guy." "I'm sorry." "Fuck, man!" "I'm not even in the right fuckin' house!" "Sorry, man." "Just take your little friends and go." "Hey, sorry." "He's a dick." "Just leave!" "You fucker!" "Sorry." "Wrong house." "Get out of my house, you motherfuckers!" "Is that the best you got?" "Come on, I'm sick of this shit!" "I'm a grown man!" "You kids got some nerve comin' into my house." "Did you find what you were lookin' for?" "Because we could help you, maybe." "What's that?" "Fuckin' son of a bitch!" "Fuck!" "We need to sit down and have a talk, all right?" "You guys new in town?" "Yeah." "What school are you from?" "Our parents just sent us to Scottsdale." "Scottsdale?" "They're in Arizona, so I hear Scottsdale's where you go to get laid." "But, uh, you know, we're virgins so we don't know about that yet." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, then we'll have to teach you." "We need to show you the best places, where all the ladies hang out, you know?" "It's like a harem or whatever, you know?" "Like where all the ladies hang out?" "So you guys ain't got no girls?" "No." "A'ight." "Well, maybe we can take care of that for you." "You'll like 'em." "They really wet." "Really wet?" "How do you know?" "I asked already." "The fuck you did!" "Sorry, man." "So where are you from?" "Originally, I'm from Iraq." " Iraq." " Yeah, Iraq." "But I was living in Texas before that." "Well, what was Texas like?" "Were there any harems in Texas?" "Do they have harems in Texas?" "Yeah, they have." "Oh, that's great." "How big?" "You know, I don't know." "What are you gonna do?" "Like, do you have a job?" "I know you're not working at a supermarket." "No, I got these things on eBay." "You're selling body oil on eBay?" "Yeah, that's fuckin' funny!" "That's awesome." "You're gonna fit in real well here in Scottsdale." "All right, so let's go to the high school game and fuckin' watch 'em out." "Who is that?" "You don't recognize that?" "Uh-uh." "Aren't they from your school?" "I wish." "Oh, hey." "Hey." "Well, it looks like we got some more recruits." "Yeah, looks like it." "Let's go." "Yeah." "Hey, is this the... the guys who have been fighting with the kids on the bike path?" "Uh, yes, we are." "Nice job." "Fuckin'... that's great." "Well, thank you very much." "I was glad to help." "You know, I got to tell you, you look really similar to a guy I dated once in San Antonio." "Really?" "Yeah, very similar." "I really liked that guy." "I'll never fuckin' forget him." "He had this..." "We dated for three years, and he had... he was just so gentle and nice." "Wow." "It's really fuckin' funny 'cause he was such a good fuck." "And this one time we were fuckin', and he just stopped and looked up at me with this really nice face, and he said," ""You know, it really turns me on when you tell me you like watching me fuck you."" "How much did he spend on beer that year?" "You know, that's kinda funny 'cause, like, we'd go out drinking." "And then I'd have to, like, carry him home because he was just puking' so much." "But I'd do it, because I'm really a nice guy." "Then I realized you were just pretending' to be nice so you can get blowjobs." "Well, that's not true." "You asked for a fuckin' blowjob, didn't you?" "You didn't have to go down on me." "You could have just said no." "I didn't even want one that night, you fucking idiot!" "You fucking told me!" "If you're just gonna start being nice when you're sucking my dick, then it's fuckin' over." "I am not a nice person!" "You know what?" "Maybe I will just fuck you anyway!" "Yeah?" "Yeah!" "Yeah?" "All right, fine." "This is pretty fucked up." "So I guess I'm not a nice person, but at least I got some good beer." "You know what?" "I don't fuckin' believe you." "You're a beer-guzzling, pussy-whipped, child-molesting, fucking scumbag!" "Is that what you fuckin' think I am?" "You said it, I didn't!" "Shut up, you little fuckin' pussy!" "You fuck!" "So you must like that because you're fucking!" "Just shut up!" "Okay?" "Okay." "Let's go." "Let's get out of here." "Fuckin' pussy." "Fuck!" "What the fuck?" "You think this is fuckin' over?" "Get out of here!" "God damn it!" "Son of a bitch!" "You better make sure that asshole buys me another beer." "I sure fuckin' will." "I was only trying to help her, man." "You got the wrong guy, all right?" "She wanted to buy me beer." "She... what?" "No, it's not like that." "I swear to God." "She was telling me about her ex-boyfriend who had fuckin' cancer and he needed an operation." "She asked me to look into it." "That's it." "That's all." "We didn't have sex." "You got the wrong guy!" "It's just that I found out this morning that I have this kind of cancer, and she was fuckin' telling me about how much she used to like to have sex with her ex-boyfriend and how much she misses that and... the last time she had sex she was wearing those, like," "those... lingerie underthings, like, the kind that were see-through." "I fuckin' don't think you have cancer, man." "You know, they did that before they had a test." "I wouldn't make it up, man." "Would you?" "Yes, yes." "You'd say anything to get laid." "Hey, don't fuckin' push me, all right?" "You fuckin' asshole." "Okay, okay." "I thought you were in love with her." "Why would you ever in love with her?" "Because she's got these really weird, fuckin' blue balls." "Oh!" "Well, she really wants me to pay attention to her right now, so maybe I will, all right?" "How much do you think that chick's tits are?" "Whoa, fuck!" "How much?" "I don't know." "I couldn't do it, man." "I'm not gay." "You said it was the same as playing pool." "You'd figure if the balls are bigger, it'd be more like pool." "I don't think you get it." "It's not about the balls." "It's about your dick being smaller