But it’s your arms that I need this time.” “I have no arms.” “Right. You should quit drinking.” “I’m gonna need more than that.” “Okay, fine. How about this.” He took a hand and placed it on her head. Then he wrapped his arms around her. “Okay. Fine. That’s more like it.” She said. “Just so you know, I don’t intend to seduce you.” He said. “But I thought that maybe you’d want to explore the possibilities.” “You had me at no arms.” “Just no intentions.” He said and laughed. “Seriously, I don’t do that kind of thing. Well, hardly ever. I don’t do things like that at all.” “I could tell.” She replied, chuckling. “I thought you weren’t ever home.” “Not always.” He said. “But I’m back now. And you’ve been spending time here. Maybe we could try it out.” She could tell by his face that this wasn’t an offer he’d make lightly. He seemed to be very serious. “I’ll think about it.” She said. “Yeah, well, that’s just another example of why I don’t think you’re ready for this. So, give it a few days and we’ll try again.” He added. “Are you going home?” “Soon. I gotta go look for a room.” “I can give you a ride.” “No, I can walk.” She said. “I like the exercise. It helps keep the mind off my problems.” “Then how about if I drive you there in the morning? That way I won’t be in your way.” He said. “Okay.” She said. “You really don’t mind?” “Not at all. Just call me when you’re ready to come back.” He said. “All right. Thank you.” “Don’t mention it.” He said. She took his arm and they began walking along the street towards home. “Why don’t you want to sleep with women?” He asked. “Hmm? Why do you ask?” “Well, most men don’t ever ask if they can drive someone home, especially when they know the person doesn’t live in town.” He said. She stopped in midstride. “Do you really think I don’t live in town?” “You moved to the edge of town.” “I did? I don’t remember that.” She said. “Well, I suppose I might be a bit forgetful these days. After a head injury like that, your mind might go a bit wonky sometimes.” She grinned. “That might explain it. I didn’t mean to make a judgement call.” “No problem. It’s the truth.” She said. “And I don’t think I’ll be sleeping with men any time soon.” “You don’t think you will? Why?” He said. “Someone once told me ‘you should try something new once in a while’. I think that’s a pretty good principle to live by.” She said. “And, I was told that if you make a mistake, you make a mistake. Then there’s no point in beating yourself up over it. I learned this the hard way and I never want to learn it again.” “Are you saying that you’ve had a sexual experience with a woman?” He asked. “Of course I have.” She said. “But I never want to do it again.” “Why not?” “Well, I said that. And it’s just as well I didn’t, because I made a mistake and learned a lesson. I don’t want to go through that again. Why don’t you ask? I can answer if you really want to know. So you can tell me I’m lying. But this is my life. And I don’t like it much, so if you don’t mind I’d rather keep that part private.” She said. “I don’t mind at all.” He said. “I had a sex addiction. A sex obsession. I was just like you and you seem to be the person I’d most want to tell this to. And, I really want to explain this to you.” She said. “Go ahead.” “I think what you heard me say before was the truth, but not the whole truth. It wasn’t really a sexual experience I wanted. It was love. I loved a man. He was my first love, actually.” She smiled. “He was my high school sweetheart.” “Do I know him?” “No. But you can. He died before he ever went to college. A freak accident.” “That’s awful. What happened?” “He had some equipment failure. I didn’t even learn the details. They don’t teach me that stuff anymore.” “What was his name? Do I know him?” “His name was Kyle. Kyle Smith.” She replied. “Wow! That’s not at all bad. You know, I actually have a close friend who went to high school with him.” He said. “Really? Who’s that?” “Kyle Jones.” He said. “Oh, Kyle Jones! I know him, I knew him before I went to high school. He was in the same class I was.” “Yeah, he was. But I meant a different Kyle.” He said. “Well, I’m glad you said that about him. I remember his mother’s name was Karen. Do you know how she is? He used to take all of us girls out behind the hardware store, with me being the youngest in the bunch, I remember it quite well. And he taught me to kiss. I was a virgin when I first came to high school. He taught me how to kiss. He was so good at that. And we’d never really talked about it, not until he was my boyfriend. He didn’t think it was appropriate to talk about it when we were friends, at first. He was pretty old-fashioned like that. When it became a couple we learned how to….” She began to trail off into silence as she tried to find the right words to describe what they had done. “Kissed?” He said. “Yes. That’s how we knew what to do. We were so close. We would feel each other’s thoughts, and I felt his. I don’t know if I should tell you what he felt like.” She said. “Go ahead. Just don’t tell me it wasn’t as good as they say it is in the magazines.” He joked. “Okay. Well, he wasn’t the prettiest person in the world but he was very, very pretty in my mind. Well, in any case he didn’t like the idea of doing it on the first time, but we’re young. And we’re not supposed to be thinking about sex all the time. So we kept at it, each of us. And we got pretty good at it. It was what you are trying to do right now. But it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to know more. And he liked me a lot. He told me so. And I knew I liked him. I think he was the only person who ever really loved me. But the problem was, I wanted to know more than that. And I didn’t want him to think of me as a child.” She grinned. “So, I stole one of his favorite books. It was one of those romance novels, the ones you have in your hands right now. It was called The Romantic Book. And I read it. Then I began to read other things, until I knew what he would like to do with me. He would read them, too, and say he wanted me to do it to him, but he wouldn’t tell me what he liked. And I didn’t want to ask, because I was afraid of what he might say. And so I just….” “Did it for him?” “Yes, I did it for him. It was a very bad time for me. And I thought it was a very bad time for him too, but I didn’t realize it. It wasn’t the kind of thing that one person could just ask the other person about. He didn’t want to be with me again after that time.” She looked him in the eyes and it was as if she were looking at her own reflection. She suddenly took a deep breath and looked down at her hands. “Did you love him?” He said, softly. “Yes, I did. And I lost him. I didn’t even know that was what I was doing. I knew I was leaving him and that was not easy for me, but I could tell by the way he was acting around me