Awkward?" "You are a weirdo." "No!" "Yes!" "I'm the weirdo." "I just wanted to protect my brother." "I had to beat her at a game she doesn't even know she's playing!" "Well, maybe she's playing a different game now." "A fun one." "That's good." "You know what?" "You should just go on over there and find out." "I mean, maybe a little flirty would be good." "Or not." "Maybe you should go flirty and see if you can score." "Or score and flirty, whatever, you know?" "You can't flirt without a score, though." "But if I flirt and score, then what will happen?" "So I get a new dress, and I'm trying to think, what should I wear?" "You guys need anything?" "We're cool." "Oh, great." "So you like sushi." "Can I go to the sushi place with you?" "What?" "You're too little to be eating sushi." "I know, but you like it, and so do I." "It's fun." "So do I. I think it's fun." "And I think it'd be really fun to go to the sushi place together." "So that's why you're here, so you can eat sushi?" "No, I'm not eating sushi." "I can't even order it because I'm too little." "But you like it, and so do I." "And it'd be fun to eat it with you." "Seth, it'd be fun." "Fun for me and fun for you." "That makes me really happy to hear you say that because I don't have that many people that like sushi, that's why it'd be fun to go there with you." "Well, can I go with you?" "You can't go because you're too little." "Well, how can I go if I'm too little?" "Well, I don't know." "That's why I'm asking you." "Well, maybe I could come there and stand outside in front of the door where everybody has to go through." "It's always fun to watch people come in and out." "But the door's locked." "Well, I could wait till somebody leaves, and then I could open the door." "I think it's illegal to open a door when people are still in it, so that's not a good idea." "Okay." "Forget I asked." "I want to do that." "When are you going?" "Oh." "Hey." "Hey, we need to talk." "There's some things that have happened between us that you're not aware of, and I don't know if they're your fault or mine." "But they're there, and it seems to me like maybe it's time to talk about them and see where we stand." "Great." "So, what's up?" "Well, there's some things that I can't tell you because I don't want you to be mad at me." "Oh, like the fact that I flirted with another woman at your expense." "Oh, yeah." "How much have you been flirting with her?" "Because you had me convinced you were gonna marry somebody else." "You are somebody else." "This is somebody else." "Can I speak to him for a second?" "Can I talk to him?" "So I did that, and what happened was I got super bummed out because then this girl totally changed the subject." "Okay." "So then I realized how I could get back at her." "What was that?" "I said, how could I get back at her?" "What did she say?" "She said, "How could you get back at me?"" "I said, "I'm gonna get back at her by talking about how great you are."" "Wow, man." "I think that you are overreacting." "Well, what did she say?" "She said, "Thank you."" "Yeah." "That's what she said?" "Man, I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut." "How am I gonna talk to you about this?" "About what?" "Hey, guys." "Hey." "I want to talk to you guys about the thing I told you before about this chick I'm seeing." "Wait, hold on." "Hold on." "Are you serious?" "Yeah, I'm serious." "This is gonna be hard to believe, but I have been seeing this girl for over a year now." "Really?" "What's her name?" "I can't tell you that." "Why?" "Who is she?" "Well, she's..." "She's..." "Seth, you need to back up." "Yeah, you need to put your own clothes on." "You're not supposed to be seeing other women in your apartment." "I don't know, Rory." "I think it's kind of sexy." "You do?" "You do?" "So are you like a womanizer or something?" "Well, let's just say I was." "That's why we broke up." "We were supposed to be monogamous, and I broke that promise." "It's bad enough you break a promise." "Why are you doing it to the person that you're supposed to be closest to?" "Wait a second." "Did you cheat on her first?" "No, it was before we started dating." "I cheated on her before we started dating." "That's it." "Dude, you're not allowed to do that." "You're not allowed to do that." "You're not supposed to be dating somebody who's not your girlfriend." "So this is your way of getting back at her?" "Wow." "Yeah." "Well, that's some pretty nice psychological jujitsu there, but I don't think you're supposed to use another person to get back at somebody." "I don't know." "It's like a double-edged sword thing." "No." "No, it's not." "You can't do that." "She doesn't want to be with somebody who cheats on her girlfriend." "I know this hurts, but I don't want to take away from your overall point about being monogamous in relationships." "You guys really don't get it." "Relationships are about loyalty." "Loyalty, not flings." "Flings are for promiscuity." "I don't understand how girls would let a guy put his hands on them if they knew he'd always just be flinging." "So this is really about a girl who didn't want to do whatever it was that you were gonna do together." "You know what?" "It doesn't matter." "This girl's not even worth it." "If I had to date a girl who was gonna let me cheat on her," "I'd end it." "And you just go ahead and do whatever you're gonna do." "Thanks a lot." "So anyway, this girl's not as good as you." "So, what's going on?" "Everything all right?" "Yep, I'm good." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "So you're making progress." "Well, yeah, she's making progress too." "She doesn't know everything about me, and I don't know everything about her, but we're making some progress, and I like her a lot." "You're dating?" "You're dating someone you don't know?" "Don't yell at me." "It's like the guy's telling her the world's gonna end in seven years, and you're like," ""He's making progress."" "Well, we're not talking about the world ending in seven years, but if that were the case," "I wouldn't be making progress." "I'd be making up for all of my regrets I've had over the past 40 years of my life by not being a complete douche." "So, what's this girl like?" "Oh, man." "She's smart, pretty, funny." "Very into animals, a great cook." "She also has a pet duck." "Like a pet duck." "That's pretty great." "Yeah." "It is." "So she lives near here?" "Yeah." "In my apartment building." "She has her own place?" "Yeah." "Where is it?" "On Central Park West." "Do you know the building?" "No." "But you like her, right?" "Yeah, I do like her." "Well, you should take her there." "What?" "How?" "Make an effort, Seth." "Just..." "Take her to the building and go to the lobby and wait there." "Maybe make eye contact with the people who work there and you can tell them who she is and where she lives." "I don't know." "I guess I could try that." "Yeah, and maybe the building doesn't allow pets." "Yeah." "Okay." "I'm gonna go to bed." "Maybe I should call my ex-wife." "What for?" "Well, you know, she doesn't know if I still live there." "Right." "It's no big deal." "It'll just take a second." "I have a pretty good idea where she lives, so I can just call her up, and I can just say hello." "She'll be totally fine with it."