Let's Just Call Jeff on the Jeff Phone
Hey, check out this super-hardass list of people and phone calls and stuff. They're all real!
**Martha Stewart**
**Morgan Stanley**
**Bob Dylan**
**Yoko Ono**
**Billy Joel**
**P. Diddy**
**Merv Griffin**
**Bette Midler**
**George Clooney**
**Jerry Lewis**
**Tony Bennett**
**Steven Spielberg**
**Garrison Keillor**
**Don Rickles**
**Don Henley**
**Pete Seeger**
**Woody Allen**
**Karen O and Danger Mouse**
**Alice Cooper**
**Joan Baez**
**Marshall Crenshaw**
**Kathy Griffin**
**Neil Young**
**Spike Jonze**
**Steve Martin**
**Johnny Depp**
**Beth Orton**
**Chelsea Clinton**
**Dennis Hopper**
**Blythe Danner**
**Ian McKellen**
**The Rolling Stones**
**Dane Cook**
**Will Smith**
**Johnny Knoxville**
**Eminem**
**Johnny Cash**
**The Wu-Tang Clan**
**Mike Doughty**
**The Ramones**
**Tom Waits**
**Liz Phair**
**Lenny Bruce**
**Lily Allen**
**Neil Young**
**Eminem**
**Al Gore**
### **Dream Jobs for the Super-Rich and Famous**
I love my dreams, but some people are just not cut out for the dream job game. Who cares about that shit, anyway? If you have a dream, go for it. If you don't, don't worry about it.
The job of your dreams is probably something that you already have. How many of us really get into the careers we dreamed about as little kids?
### **P. Diddy (Public Diplomacy)**
**Where:** Someplace in the Middle East
**What He Does:** He runs an intergovernmental agency dedicated to "countering negative stereotypes of Arabs and Muslims," whatever that means.
**Who He Is:** A dude who has a lot of money and is always on CNN.
### **Merv Griffin (Entertainer)**
**Where:** Palm Beach, Florida
**What He Does:** He's still on TV. He's also a motivational speaker who has done more commercials than he should have. He's an aging celebrity from TV's glory days who is in the middle of the whole retirement crisis that is rocking Hollywood, as he himself was forced to admit on _Late Night with Conan O'Brien_.
**Who He Is:** Someone you know.
### **Bob Dylan (Mythical Man-Sized Intangible Phenomenon)**
**Where:** Boulder, Colorado
**What He Does:** He writes songs.
**Who He Is:** The most-covered songwriter in the world.
### **Yoko Ono (Celebrity Activist)**
**Where:** New York
**What She Does:** She does as much as she can. She has become a master of celebrity activism, using the fame she gained as the wife of John Lennon to create causes like the peace rallies, which she and Lennon were hosting at the time of his death. She is most famous for being the mother of John Lennon's son, Sean Lennon. She's also an artist who creates works of art to support various causes.
**Who She Is:** The famous ex-wife of a famous Beatle.
### **Billy Joel (Celebrity Songwriter)**
**Where:** New York
**What He Does:** He writes songs and plays clubs.
**Who He Is:** The ex-Beatle.
### **P. Diddy (Celebrity)**
**Where:** Someplace in the Middle East
**What He Does:** He runs an intergovernmental agency dedicated to "countering negative stereotypes of Arabs and Muslims," whatever that means.
**Who He Is:** A dude who has a lot of money and is always on CNN.
### **Morgan Stanley (Financial Services Adviser)**
**Where:** Lower East Side, New York City
**What He Does:** He's a financial adviser.
**Who He Is:** Someone you know.
### **Bob Dylan (Mythical Man-Sized Intangible Phenomenon)**
**Where:** Boulder, Colorado
**What He Does:** He writes songs.
**Who He Is:** The most-covered songwriter in the world.
### **Yoko Ono (Celebrity Activist)**
**Where:** New York
**What She Does:** She does as much as she can. She has become a master of celebrity activism, using the fame she gained as the wife of John Lennon to create causes like the peace rallies, which she and Lennon were hosting at the time of his death. She is most famous for being the mother of John Lennon's son, Sean Lennon. She's also an artist who creates works of art to support various causes.
**Who She Is:** The famous ex-wife of a famous Beatle.
### **Billy Joel (Celebrity Songwriter)**
**Where:** New York
**What He Does:** He writes songs and plays clubs.
**Who He Is:** The ex-Beatle.
### **P. Diddy (Celebrity)**
**Where:** Someplace in the Middle East
**What He Does:** He runs an intergovernmental agency dedicated to "countering negative stereotypes of Arabs and Muslims," whatever that means.
**Who He Is:** A dude who has a lot of money and is always on CNN.
### **Morgan Stanley (Financial Services Adviser)**
**Where:** Lower East Side, New York City
**What He Does:** He's a financial adviser.
**Who He Is:** Someone you know.
### **Bob Dylan (Mythical Man-Sized Intangible Phenomenon)**
**Where:** Boulder, Colorado
**What He Does:** He writes songs.
**Who He Is:** The most-covered songwriter in the world.
### **Yoko Ono (Celebrity Activist)**
**Where:** New York
**What She Does:** She does as much as she can. She has become a master of celebrity activism, using the fame she gained as the wife of John Lennon to create causes like the peace rallies, which she and Lennon were hosting at the time of his death. She is most famous for being the mother of John Lennon's son, Sean Lennon. She's also an artist who creates works of art to support various causes.
**Who She Is:** The famous ex-wife of a famous Beatle.
### **Billy Joel (Celebrity Songwriter)**
**Where:** New York
**What He Does:** He writes songs and plays clubs.
**Who He Is:** The ex-Beatle.
### **P. Diddy (Celebrity)**
**Where:** Someplace in the Middle East
**What He Does:** He runs an intergovernmental agency dedicated to "countering negative stereotypes of Arabs and Muslims," whatever that means.
**Who He Is:** A dude who has a lot of money and is always on CNN.
### **Morgan Stanley (Financial Services Adviser)**
**Where:** Lower East Side, New York City
**What He Does:** He's a financial adviser.
**Who He Is:** Someone you know.
### **Bob Dylan (Mythical Man-Sized Intangible Phenomenon)**
**Where:** Boulder, Colorado
**What He Does:** He writes songs.
**Who He Is:** The most-covered songwriter in the world.
### **Yoko Ono (Celebrity Activist)**
**Where:** New York
**What She Does:** She does as much as she can. She has become a master of celebrity activism, using the fame she gained as the wife of John Lennon to create causes like the peace rallies, which she and Lennon were hosting at the time of his death. She is most famous for being the mother of John Lennon's son, Sean Lennon. She's also an artist who creates works of art to support various causes.
**Who She Is:** The famous ex-wife of a famous Beatle.
### **Billy Joel (Celebrity Songwriter)**
**Where:** New York
**What He Does:** He writes songs and plays clubs.
**Who He Is:** The ex-Beatle.
### **P. Diddy (Cele
