That turned dark quickly. Instead
of just one event, it turned into two, three
and then four. It did not matter how much
I tried to stop them, I never could. Every
time I did it seemed that it was the last.
It became like a ritual. I would go to sleep
every night and have the same dream that
someone or something was chasing me, and
I woke up.
English:
In the months to come, my wife and I would
start to wonder whether these dreams were
real or the effect of some drug. That was
the beginning of my illness and an end of
the relationship we had. I have a cousin
who had a dream like that. I think that
when people have that dream it is very hard
to break away. My wife and I would fall
asleep, but I would hear her running, her
screams. That would only drive us mad. And
it took us months, but eventually we broke
Portuguese:
No futuro, minha esposa e eu começaríamos
a se perguntar se esses sonhos eram
reais ou resultado de algum tipo de droga.
Esse foi o início de minha doença e
a despedida do relacionamento que tive.
Tenho um primo que teve um sonho desse tipo.
Penso que quando as pessoas tem esse sonho
é muito difícil de se distanciar. Meu
esposa e eu nos adormeceríamos, mas eu
ouvia a minha esposa correndo, gritando.
Isso só acendia o medo da gente.
English:
off.
We decided to go to the doctor. The
testings that we underwent were
completely normal and there was no
cause for alarm. But there was still
something there, something that we could
not get to. There were many tests but
they never found anything. I don't know
what we did. I don't know what my wife and
I did to be in that nightmare. It has left
an indelible mark on my life.
I still dream about that. For me, it is
very difficult to leave, even when I am no
longer the person I was back then. I go
to sleep and I go through it again.
Portuguese:
Nós decidimos ir ao médico. Os testes que
subiram eram completamente normais
e não havia mais nenhum motivo para
preocupação. Mas havia algo lá, algo que
nós não conseguíamos enfrentar. Havia
muitos testes, mas não encontrávamos
nada. Não sei o que nós fizemos. Não sei
o que minha esposa e eu fizemos
para estarmos no meu sonho. Isso deixou
uma marca indelével na minha vida.
Eu ainda sonho nisso. Para mim é
difícil de sair mesmo quando não
tenho mais a pessoa que era antes. Eu
me adormeco e entro novamente.
English:
I see it when I go to sleep every day. I
don't try to fight it, but I do what
I can to try to survive. It has caused
me to have a different relationship with
my wife. I think it is very hard to leave
it.
When I think of it again it is
much more difficult, but it is very hard
to overcome. I still live a life
without happiness. I go to bed at night,
but I think about my son, about his life.
Sometimes I think about my mother, I think
about him and I dream again. But what
could I do to change it?
Portuguese:
Eu a vejo quando eu me adormeco todos os dias.
Não tento lidar com isso, mas faço o que
posso para tentar sobreviver. Isso me fez ter
um relacionamento diferente com minha esposa.
Penso que é muito difícil de se esquecer.
Quando penso mais nisso é muito
mais difícil, mas é muito difícil
superar. Eu ainda vivo uma vida
sem felicidade. Eu me adormeco a noite,
mas penso no meu filho, sobre a vida dele.
As vezes penso em minha mãe, penso em
ele e penso novamente. Mas o que
eu posso fazer para mudar isso?
English:
I also have nightmares. I will be alone,
and I will be scared. I do what
I can to try to survive. I remember what
they told me. The doctor said: "Try to
find something to help yourself."
They gave me medicines, but it didn't help.
The last time I saw her she was in a
hospital. When I saw her I felt I would
never forget what they had done. The next
day we went to see the doctor and he told
us that my son had been diagnosed with
anorexia. He told us that it was a
treatable illness and that I should help
my wife. I wanted to go to the hospital
and show them that my son was in danger,
but I had not the strength. We decided to
go home. It is much easier to stay
where you are. What is difficult for me
is that I will not be able to see him.
Portuguese:
Também tenho sonhos. Eu estarei sozinho,
e estarei com medo. Eu faço o que
posso para tentar sobreviver. Eu lembro do
que eles disseram. O médico disse: "Tente
encontrar algo para te ajudar."
Eles me deram remédios, mas isso não funcionou.
A última vez que vi ela ela estava em uma
hospital. Quando eu vim ela, senti que ia
nunca esquecer o que fizeram. Na
manhã seguinte, fomos ao
