That turned dark quickly. Instead of a few minutes I found myself confused. I felt sick and realized I needed to leave the room immediately. I called a cab and I tried to stop sweating profusely. I got in the cab and the driver was just staring at me. He could tell that I was high. So I tried to explain to him that I didn't smoke weed. I used to, but I haven't in ages. He was persistent. He asked me if he could look in my bag and I gave it to him, but it's private. It's personal and it contains some very sensitive information. He also had to go through everything in my backpack. I got out and was just waiting for a bus. I started to walk away and I got a text from my friend saying he just came up to the bus stop. I said don't ride up the bus with me. Don't do it. He got on the bus anyway. I know he saw that my eyes were glassy. I knew he could tell that I was high. That's when I knew that I had to get off that bus. I took off. I didn't want to catch up with him or the bus. He's a small guy, so he's not a big threat to anyone, but that's also why he's not a big threat to me. He'd only get punched in the face or hit and then would probably die. That's not a good fight to have. I don't want to hit or kill anyone ever. [Music] I knew I could call him for a ride, but I'd be out $20. Instead I called my mom. She knows. She's probably called, but never let's me give out my number because she doesn't want me to ruin my life. If she calls, I'm going to tell her that I'm just going to a movie. She doesn't need to worry about it. She calls me up and starts asking me how I'm doing. I tell her what just happened. I just smoked weed. It was good. No big deal. She was just freaked out. She was absolutely freaked out. I can't tell you how upset she was. [Music] She told me I needed to call a rehab. She told me it was a public health and safety thing. I told her that I really don't want to do that. And she just said you're getting picked up if you don't. I have friends that I've done those things with before, but we haven't smoked weed in a long time. I've been clean for a couple of years now. I'm not smoking around them, so they don't really know that I have a problem with it. They think I'm a normal person. That night they put me on a bus to a rehab. When we got to the rehab headquarters I got off the bus. I was being escorted by an older woman who they had just told me I was supposed to call a certain number to get picked up. We got into a room and there's some other girls already there. The people that were helping us before left, so we are basically waiting for people to come in and get us. We waited for a very long time. I was still high. We had to go through a meeting, but they took me into a room and kept me out for maybe like 20 or 25 minutes. They asked us a lot of questions. I was the first to admit everything, so I'm not sure if that helped them to treat me better or make me feel less guilty about smoking weed. One of them asked me if I was high and I said yes. I could tell that she was confused. I told her I was on it. I'm like yeah. She asked me why I did it and I told her. She told me to ask God why. I just got in trouble for it. I said I'm sorry and that's it. She said she wouldn't let me out until I told her how long I had been doing it. I knew it had to be like a year or two. I told her like a year. That's all I told her. I'll just tell her what I feel comfortable telling her. There were three other girls in the room at the time. I asked them, too. It's a small group, but I asked them. One said she smoked a joint once in high school. She didn't tell her parents. The next girl said she smoked it before, but not much. The third girl said she had it a lot before, but not anymore. That didn't make me feel very good. I told the woman I was sorry again. Then she told me that I had to say it in a prayer. She called my dad over and turned off the lights in the room. I didn't know what she was doing. She asked me if I had it in my pocket. I told her I didn't. That's when she lit it. She made me tell God why I did it. I tried to explain to her that I didn't think that's what God wants. Then the woman said she saw something in the pocket that looked like a lighter. [Music] There are five of us sitting in this small room. I was not high anymore. I knew that this was a rehab program and that they didn't want me to be high. We were told to call this number if we were high or drinking. They'd show up and take us to their next meeting. I could call, but I knew I'd get some crazy phone call on the other end. I thought I'd done enough. I'm sober, so I'm going to call my mom, but not from the phone that we were given. [Music] She called me. [Music] My dad never found out what was going on. I have two younger sisters, but they didn't know either. He found out later. So after that. It was a pretty high. Not as high as usual, but it was pretty high. I think the pills and weed were combined or something. It was a bad combination. He would sometimes yell at me, but I think it was mostly because he was high and drunk. He didn't find out what happened to me for a long time. I was still dealing with things and still in bad shape. [Music] Since I've never been able to talk about this, there are some times when I think maybe he would be better off if he knew about this incident. When I was doing it, I was high. I was doing all of those things. My mom didn't know. And I don't think my dad would have let me stop. That was really hard for him, I think. I think that it was hard for him to see how bad I had gotten. One of the craziest things is the guy who found it, he didn't even know. He just came up to the bus stop and found it on me. [Music] You're high when you're coming down, but you don't care at all anymore. You're really tired. You have lost all sense of wherever you are in this world. You're just looking for the next thing to do. You're tired and you just want to sleep. The bus from the rehab was coming, but I was still high. I was getting ready to move out of my mom's house, but I wanted