Tiffany, you really should reconsider your life choices if you are going to get so depressed each time someone who you are "not attracted to" successfully propositions you! I can't believe I have already spent this much time responding to your email, but I do want to clarify something for you....you can get married if you want to (and I think the concept of the whole committed relationship is something that should exist, as it makes both people feel secure) - however, you can NOT have a child if you do get married and I think that is a BIG mistake. Trust me on this one. I tried it and I wish I could go back and erase the last 5 years of my life! I can't imagine my life now without my daughter and I think I would be an unhappy person if I didn't have her. (Yes, I'm basing this on the assumption that my marriage to Michael lasts a long time). Let's take a step back and look at the BIG picture. Your family situation sounds like a mess. I mean, I think you have done the best you can do in difficult circumstances, but I am telling you from a woman's perspective, who had the great fortune of having a father who was around for many, many years, and a mother who stayed home....your marriage will go through good times and bad times, and when it is bad, it is really bad, but you are going to work through it. Do I think you should have the best sex of your life in the first 2 years of marriage? Yes, I do. Will you have some bad times in the next few years where you will cry and be really depressed and wish you had never done it? You betcha. I would give anything to have my marriage back, just as it was, to have Michael home from Iraq right now and not be living in the middle of a renovation, but unfortunately that is not reality. Sometimes, you just have to suck it up and deal with it. Are you going to be happy in a few years? Hell yes, if you hang in there and work through the tough times. You've found the ONE man you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with, and you made a commitment to be married to him for the rest of your life. I don't think any woman should be expected to be completely happy all the time, so don't even go there. You have the love and support of your whole family and I'm sure it makes you feel good that they are so happy for you and support your decision, but your dad will come around. Give it a little time. And like I said, the concept of the committed relationship is a good one - I believe that two people who commit to being married are a great idea, and should be able to find others to play with. I don't think you have "committed" to being married for the rest of your life, you've committed to one man and to honor your commitment, you will work to make the relationship work. I don't think you need to be worried about this becoming a commitment issue because it's a little late for that. This decision was made a long time ago when you put a ring on it and made vows to him. So let's talk about something else, like the fact that your dad will give Michael a hard time about the age difference between you, and how he is worried about you guys running out of money and that you are moving "too fast." You are going to hear this from your dad until you are married and have kids of your own. This is the big daddy-dude in him that just wants to protect you. Don't let him drive you crazy with questions like this. He is old-fashioned and believes that he should protect you from making a mistake, and that is his role in the family. He has had all these years to do that right, and has done a good job so far. You are young and life is good and you are very intelligent and successful - all good reasons to move on with your life. And I think if you decide to have kids, and if Michael wants to have kids, you are going to make really good parents and I think your kids will have a fantastic childhood. The time will come when you will have to let go and let him make his own decisions and let him be the strong man of the house. I know your dad is not going to be happy about Michael's decision to go to Iraq, and I know that you don't agree with it, but he has to live with the fact that he does not control his life and you do not, so I would try not to worry about it too much. This decision is going to be Michael's to make. He was willing to give up his security and a potentially long career with the Army to support you and be with you, and that should show you how much he loves you and how much he believes in the future you will have. Don't let your dad or any of the rest of your family sway you in the wrong direction. They are probably trying to support you and help you, but they are also giving you a lot of unnecessary stress. Try to just calm down and think logically about this. There is no need to rush into a decision, you need time to get to know each other better and get to a point where you can make a decision like this together. You need to really think through this and not just listen to your friends, but especially your mother, who is giving you all the bad advice. You are not going to make your dad happy. I think you should spend more time with him. I know it is difficult with both your jobs, but I also know that he is very proud of you, he just doesn't always show it. If you want to get to know him better, and if he is willing to change and support you in what you believe in, I think he is a good guy and you should try to spend more time with him. I know Michael would not be happy if you went to live with him while you are deciding whether to get married or not, because that would just cause him to be an "ex" in your eyes, and you would not have an impartial judge to listen to your rational arguments. Please don't think I'm saying you should make your father happy over his feelings for you. I know you love him very much and he is a great man, but let me give you an example. My father also decided to give up his dreams and his position in an Ivy League university to be a stay-at-home Dad and a husband to Mom. Now, if I want to stay at home with the kids, I get to, because I married a smart man who works for a computer company. My job is to take care of the house and kids, which is something I am very good at doing. My father, who is a very smart man, had a great education and a great job in college and a great career in law school which would have brought him respect and money, is now just a house husband who has no status in society, does not