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A Few Good Reasons Not To Use The “A” Word - daniel-cussen
http://m.guardian.co.uk/stage/story/0,,2132458,00.html
======
shard
I read all three of the linked articles about this article, and it's quite
interesting. Of course, the conclusions have been drawn to suit each article,
but I think that the reasons for giving the "A" word for this article are
sound.
------
DanielBMarkham
I love this article.
The problem with this is that it's just like saying "you don't use cuss words
in polite company because it's impolite to swear" and forgetting that saying
"cuss words" in polite company would mean everybody cussing. Everybody would
simply be using the words for something other than swearing.
Same problem here -- with "A" and "I" as the terms, the issue is not A or I,
it's what's between the A and I.
People who are looking to get laid will be using it as a mating signal. I'd
imagine that people who are looking for a relationship would want to signal
something else. Both sides might be doing it for a number of reasons, some of
them having nothing to do with lust and love.
I don't know enough about the mating market to say that this article is right
or wrong. And I hope I'm not being pedantic. I'm just pointing out that once
again, the language we use is very complex and much more nuanced than it
seems.
I think people should try really hard to understand and discuss this issue. It
might not be as black and white as people would like it to be. It might be as
gray as anything else.
------
edw519
Nice article but this line is troubling:
"While it's very likely that a 'bitch' or a 'pussy' would have a negative
meaning, I still question that the same is true of 'fuck'."
"This makes a lot of sense: to me, 'fuck' indicates an action. To have a
conversation in which one person takes out their dick and puts it in your wife
or girlfriend is certainly different than having a conversation with another
person that involves putting your dick in their wife or girlfriend. The first
is a proposition, the second is an act."
This is exactly why I stopped reading. He used the "I" word to begin with.
It's just that the people he's discussing (not me) have been brainwashed into
treating it as though there was an "I" in there. This just reinforces that
mindset. How about instead he explain that when people say "fuck" to one
another, it's often the word of frustration or the word of rejection.
"My point is that I think it's important to consider context a bit more and
understand the true meaning and intent of "I", "A", and "F". I do not have the
intention to offend those that are into those sorts of things. It's just not
for me."
So, if he's so careful about it, he can find the intent of anyone at any time
and can find some sort of reason for anything. So what? I think there's some
truth here but it's probably not the entire truth.
How about this. In a business setting, you may well choose to take a firm
stance and to tell it like it is. But if you spend all your time there, you're
going to be looking to get laid sooner or later. And it sounds like he has.
And you know what happens to the best laid plans. So you end up trying to
talk about one thing while thinking of another. That's life. And if he
convinces some people that he's not talking about them (or their activities)
when he says "I", then he's wrong.
By the way, how does an alpha male figure out that you're not talking about
"you" when you say "I"? It's right there in the article.
~~~
jcl
Perhaps you missed the part where the author says: "Personally, I'd really
rather use the word 'penis' to describe the male anatomy." I find it strange
that he would say that, given that most people treat using the term "penis" in
public to mean "male genitalia" as a fairly strong rejection of the male
anatomy (as well as a display of rudeness). Perhaps he realizes that some
people find even more offense in the word "dick", and finds it more acceptable
to make the word a term of endearment.
~~~
edw519
"I'd really rather use the word 'penis' to describe the male anatomy."
That should have tipped me off.
~~~
jcl
I guess we differ in our comfort level of reading between the lines... the
quote I interpreted to be saying "I think the word 'penis' is actually a nice
way of saying 'male genitalia'" -- which I do not find unusual, but do not
consider polite.
~~~
DaniFong
Hmmmm....I certainly don't find it unusual or offensive at all. In fact, when I
saw it, I laughed. (But, you know, it really depends on context.)
------
zkinion
People use what I call "social lubricant" words to gain leverage in social
situations. Think about the word "man." It doesn't mean one thing to one
person, it means something else to someone else. In high school it was about
the most offensive word you could use for the boys. Once they matured it
became a social lubricant to gain leverage in social situations. That is not
to say that everyone uses the word in that way, but that word has evolved into
meaning something else now.
Likewise, the word "F" is just as likely to be used by someone to gain leverage
as anyone else, though for a lot of people, it does mean sex. "I" is just as
likely to be used to mean "my" or "self" as any other word, but that word has
evolved as well.
In the end, it depends on the people doing the talking. To expect the
individuals reading your article to speak the same language is not entirely
rational.
------
amichail
Does "I" simply refer to myself?
As in, does "I" simply refer to an object/person who is a part of the speaker?
Or does it refer to a _process_ that constitutes my perception, thought, and
intention?
~~~
daniel-cussen
Yes. "I" refers to an object/person who is a part of the speaker.
~~~
amichail
But does "I" refer to an object/person who is a part of the speaker in any of
those terms? Or only in the first case?
~~~
daniel-cussen
I think it refers to an object/person who is a part of the speaker in all of
those cases.
~~~
amichail
That's what I would like to hear you explain.
------
daniel-cussen
I think that this article is missing the point. When people say "I," they are
most likely referring to themselves; this meaning is not usually offensive.
Likewise, when they say "A," they're referring to the process of thinking and
sensing, which is most likely not offensive. This usage of "I" and "A"
shouldn't be considered bad or bad taste, I don't think; I think people are
just trying to rationalize bad taste.
But there's also a third usage of the words. I guess that's the problem with
words: they don't always mean exactly what they appear to mean, and I don't
think it's ever good to get too rigid about what certain words should mean.
The problem with "A" is that the word is used with an aggressive meaning, as
in saying you're an "ass" or an "asshole." The problem with "I" is that it
makes a joke of people's feelings and thoughts.
Anyway, I think it's not such a bad thing that you're saying what you're
saying, even if I personally disagree with some of it. It's good to question
your values, so go ahead and question them, whatever they may be. You might
even discover that people have actually thought of what you said and thought
it was wrong; I mean, since you said it, people must have considered what it
is you're saying and thought about it. I think it's very likely that people
who question the "I" and "A" stuff know about them but consider them wrong
ways of thinking.
~~~
anamax
> But there's also a third usage of the words. I guess that's the problem with
> words: they don't always mean exactly what they appear to mean, and I don't
> think it