Girls Gone Wilder’s ‘The L-Shaped Room’ My friends and I watched ‘Girls Gone Wild’ on the television one day. My friends were a little shocked, because it wasn’t PG or PG-13, and they thought it was going to be porn, which is a big no-no when it comes to me. My mom was around, and I didn’t want her to see it because she didn’t like me watching that stuff. But she made the mistake of looking over my shoulder at the part with the young boys in it. So I kind of flipped out. I have issues with that shit, you know? It was totally inappropriate, and I was just having a blast watching it. It was like what’s in that water over there that makes some people think this stuff is okay? I don’t like it. I have issues with it. It’s not something I get turned on by, either. I’m not a prude. That’s one thing I’m not. But, like I said, watching it like the day it came out, when the boys were in it, freaked me out because I didn’t know it was going to be in there. In case you’re wondering, I wasn’t that impressed with the movie in general. I had an aunt that had some really hard things going on, and she just died last year. She died from addiction, and she was a crack addict, and her whole life was a mess. She was a prostitute for a time. But when my dad found out what was going on in her life, he gave her a job and helped her with money, and she stopped. But for a long time, she wanted to stop having sex. Because when she got high, she would get really horny, so the more it happened, the more she would want to do it, the more she would use. I found out a lot about my aunt from my dad, but then I was also hearing some things from my mother too, so it kind of hit me hard. She wasn’t able to be there for my mom as much as she wanted to be, and I think that’s why she passed away when she did. I think she got overwhelmed. It was like, “Dude, man, it’s not just you. There’s someone else in this world who’s dealing with the same thing you’re dealing with.” And at that point in time, I didn’t really realize how much she had to deal with the crack addiction. She would be gone for weeks at a time, and I had a mom in a wheelchair. So, you know, the timing of it was real bad, but in the middle of all of that, it was like a ray of light, just to see my aunt on the other side. I know she’s looking down at me from heaven and is laughing at all the stuff I’m doing here in this world. It’s a crazy world, man. I can’t believe I’m here. I never thought I’d be here, and it’s just real weird sometimes. My aunt never got into any drugs, but she did sell some drugs once. That’s how she got into it, but she was an innocent, pure person. It was a struggle for her. She tried to do her own thing at one point, but she couldn’t do it. That was all she ever really knew. It was what her life consisted of, and she couldn’t get out of it. People who are in that lifestyle, they don’t have anything else in their lives except that lifestyle. They don’t have other options. It’s real sad. It’s very sad. “I’ve Never Had A Boyfriend” It is just not the type of person I am. I have never been the type of person that had a boy or a girlfriend, or I just wasn’t. I just wasn’t. It was hard for me to talk to someone because I didn’t know how to do it. I was always really shy and would shy away from things that would get me noticed. I just wasn’t very popular when it came to girls. I kind of went out with a couple of them. But I didn’t get serious. It was never something serious. It was just fun for a while. You know what I mean? Me and my friend, we go over to her house all the time, and she has three sisters. They’re all really sweet girls. I was in the bathroom one time, and I was talking to them in my mind, and I was telling them that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I’m not talking about a boyfriend. Just one of them would have been fine. It was just a thought in my head, and it made me really sad that I didn’t have a boyfriend, and I wanted to find one. Me and my friend talk about that all the time. We say we have girlfriends, but we never did. My friend’s real shy. She kind of likes to keep to herself. Me? I’m really shy too, but I don’t really like to keep to myself. So she does the majority of the talking, and I’m more of a listener. I like to take things in when she talks, and absorb them. I like to hear what she has to say. And I like to try to be a conversation piece, too. Sometimes when I’m talking to people, they want to hear my opinion on stuff. My friend, her mother and dad both use drugs, but that doesn’t have anything to do with my friend. She’s really cool, and she knows what she wants, and she’s always trying to find a job. I know she wants to help people in the world, and she’s very sweet, and I love her. She’s my best friend. She doesn’t drink anymore, but I do drink sometimes. I know that I would never do drugs, no matter how old I get. I have family members that I care about who were addicted to drugs, so that could never happen to me. I couldn’t deal with it. But if I was to drink, that would be it for me. I don’t have any time for drama. I mean, I do get into fights at school sometimes. I can get a little rough, but it never gets serious. And I would never bring anyone down or hurt them or anything like that. And I would never, ever date anybody who used drugs. If I find somebody that was trying to get me to do it, and I wouldn’t listen to it, I would definitely walk away. I don’t need drugs, you know what I mean? I don’t need drugs in my life. I would rather just go through my life with the person that I’m with. I never used drugs before my mom got sick. I tried drinking once in high school. It was a mixed drink and my sister was at the house, and so I drank it for her, but that was it. So yeah, I never did drugs until my mom died. And my sister is twenty-two and she never did drugs either, so it was just me. When I was younger, I did experiment with alcohol a little bit. But for me, it was kind of just because I had a little bit of a drink with my mom on the weekends and stuff like that, because I had a real good time with my friends. We’d go to shows and hang out, and I would have a few drinks and everything, and then go home. And my mom never seemed like it was a problem. She used to give us money to go buy chips and go to Blockbuster to rent movies or whatever, and she just gave us the money, so it was easy for me to go buy that stuff, because all I had to do was say I was going to the store, and she was cool with it. It was easy. It was only a dollar or two. It was pretty easy. I’ve been drinking since I was thirteen. I was thirteen when I started drinking. I was drinking on weekends at parties, with people. I didn’t drink all the time. I only drank when I was around a bunch of people. And then, at parties, I would just give them a whole bunch of shots. I didn’t do beers or shit like that. I just did hard liquor. I really didn’t see myself as an alcoholic until I was twenty-one. I guess I was a social drinker, but I was never one that drank every day. I quit drinking when I was twenty-two because I was taking care of my aunt, and we were living together. It was her house and she was a prostitute, so she never wanted me to get involved with drugs or alcohol, because she used to have to have a bong or a pipe around, because that’s what we were doing, and it wasn’t for any harm to me or her, but because she had gotten arrested and had some problems with drugs. And she really didn’t want me to get involved with it. I