Suspicion or fear of being sexually abused can interfere with the natural nurturing processes. This interferes with a child's ability to explore the world around them and develop normally. The most important factor in the treatment of victims of sexual abuse is the victim's self esteem. You can't change someone else. What you can do is provide her with support and encouragement that you will be there to listen to what she needs to say and help her find a voice to express herself. The best thing you can do for her is to listen, really listen, to what she is saying. Let her know that you are on her side. You can use a model of "I am not a threat, but a friend." This will help her to get through this difficult time. Some survivors are ashamed of being sexually abused and have difficulty admitting to anyone, especially family members. Some children blame themselves for the abuse. Some become withdrawn and some isolate themselves from family and friends. This is a very common reaction in victims of sexual abuse. It is helpful for her to be with a therapist who has experience in working with victims of sexual abuse and has had their own experience with similar experiences. If you're sexually abused you may have feelings of guilt and shame. You may experience feelings of anger, fear or anxiety. It is important for you to talk about these emotions and how they affect you. If you are sexually abused, it is also important to talk to a parent or caregiver about the abuse. This helps to ensure that you do not have to feel alone in this. You may not think that what happened to you is any of your parents' business, but it is, and your parents care. You can talk about how the abuse made you feel, that you were scared and didn't know what to do. You might say that this was happening at a time when you couldn't really express yourself. You may be angry at the person who hurt you. You may feel hurt, embarrassed, guilty or powerless. If you need to tell an adult or friend about what has happened, say something like, "It happened to me." Then, let that person know that you will not tell them anything else unless they ask. It is important for you to tell a parent or caregiver. The person who sexually abused you is probably someone you look up to or admire, so it may be hard for you to believe that this person did something bad. Think about how someone in a position of power or authority uses his power to take advantage of someone who is at their mercy. It is important to focus on how this makes you feel, not on the physical sensations of the abuse. Think about the impact on your self-esteem. Some victims develop a physical reaction to the abuse. This may be a lump in your throat, dryness in your mouth or an increase in the frequency of bowel movements. Think about the implications this has for you. It is also important for you to know that even if the abuse was violent and frightening, this does not give anyone the right to harm you. You do not have to be a victim of this experience. You deserve to be safe. If you were hurt or humiliated you may want to tell someone who will care about what you tell them. It may be an adult you trust, a friend or your mom or dad. It is important for you to be able to talk about your experience without having to worry that someone will blame you for what happened to you or that no one will care. Many children are sexually abused by someone they know well or who is related to them, like a parent or grandparent. If you have been sexually abused, it is important for you to think about the implications for you if you tell an adult. If you were abused by someone who is your parent or a family member, it may be harder for you to tell someone. You may think that no one will believe you, that the abuse will stop or that the abuse will only be worse if you tell someone. You may think that you will get in trouble or that no one will believe your story because you have always been honest. It is important for you to talk about these feelings and be sure that what you are thinking is true or believe that what you are thinking is not true. Some people have difficulty expressing emotions or feelings. Some people are not able to express any emotions, so they may not know that something that happened upset them or hurt them. Some people become depressed if they don't express their feelings. Think about these feelings. Are you afraid? Are you worried? Are you ashamed? It is important for you to let the adults in your life know if you are having trouble with expressing emotions or you feel sad. Sometimes you need help to express what you are feeling. It is important for you to have support, encouragement and someone who can help you. It is important for you to let people know what has happened and what you are feeling. It is not uncommon for children and teens to be abused by family members or members of their family. If you are a child, it is important for you to know that if you tell an adult about the abuse they will not take the blame away from you and no one will be mad at you. This will help you to make the decision about whether or not you want to tell someone about the abuse and about what you would like to do. The adult you talk to about what happened will be there to support you and help you through the process of talking about what happened. It is not uncommon for children and teens to be abused by a member of the family, especially by a family member or parent. Sometimes this abuse can go on for years. Even though the abuse is happening to you, the abuse may also happen to your parents and other family members. If this is the case, it is important for you to know that abuse of a family member does not have to mean the end of the family. Abuse that has happened to you cannot and should not give the abuser the right to continue to control you. It is important for you to make the decision about whether or not you want to tell someone about the abuse, and if so, who you want to tell. You deserve to be safe and you have a right to be safe. You deserve respect, love and support. It is important for you to believe that what happened to you will not define you or who you are. You have the right to tell anyone what has happened and to have your abuser held responsible for the abuse. No one can hurt you without your permission, and no one deserves to be hurt. You deserve to feel safe and to be able to trust people, like your family and other adults who are important to you. It is important for you to get help in figuring out what you want to do. This will make it easier for you to make choices. It will also help you to get the emotional support you need, so that you can work through your feelings of anger, hurt, sadness and fear. You deserve to have a relationship with someone who can provide you with support, love and encouragement. You deserve to be a part of a family where someone will care about you. It is important for you to talk about how the abuse has made you feel. Talk about how the abuse has affected you. Ask for the support you need and find out how you can get it. Talk to an adult who can help you get the support you need and the help you deserve. It is important for you to talk about what happened to you