Whiners are Wieners Howard Rosenbaum, who is a lawyer with a lot of time and emotional energy to spend on these issues, writes in Forbes that he has written a book, How to Negotiate Anything. Among other things, Rosenbaum is right on the mark in explaining the psychological origins of blustering, and how to get others to recognize the futility of any bluster as evidence of what he calls "futile fury." What he says applies to many, many more situations than international treaties and multi-million dollar disputes. If you've ever been angry with your wife or husband, angry with a client or co-worker or boss, angry with your kids or your employer's or a person in charge at work, there's probably a chance you're blustering, and it doesn't help anyone at all. The book is worth reading, both for understanding your own anger, and for recognizing what you hear from others and knowing that it's not even close to the truth. The thing about your blog post title is the only reason you would say that is because I said I had no idea how Obama would choose. That's how they do it here in NYC anyway and it works pretty well. No, I don't read blogs but I did think it might be too general for you as you are referring to only specific things. But if you say "they are", I will have to point out that when it comes to diplomacy people all over the world don't seem to care about diplomacy. How about they're not stupid, or not just. Diplomacy's just a way of saying you're dealing with someone like an enemy, where you act nice but you're only doing it for yourself, and even in a time of peace and prosperity, where the most common solution is negotiations without war. You don't see diplomats when you want to go to a doctor or want to buy something. No, I'm sorry I can't come up with something funny to say. Maybe we're all the same and there's nothing original? A lot of people say that but they are wrong. You should keep working on your blog. It's important to share stories to build connections. You are not just making yourself look like a wise-ass but also make a friend. The most important thing is that you can take care of yourself and not let anyone else take advantage of you. If people know you, they'll act as if you don't have a mouth or a brain, even when you have both, but you should do your best to put on a mask and be nice. And if people do something bad to you or try to take advantage of you, you should be a grown-up and act like one. But if you want to be kind and be real, then you shouldn't be diplomatic and say that you're being diplomatic. Be nice, even if you're not being diplomatic, because they might do something to you that you can't get away from. You don't want to see something bad happen to yourself or get your computer infected by some virus. It's best to trust people and be nice, but if they're going to mess you over, then you might be surprised that that could happen. You should look up "conflict resolution" and read about diplomacy. If you aren't a spy and don't have to be, like your mom, then you don't have to be good at diplomacy. If you do, though, people might be a lot nicer to you and see things your way if you listen to what they want and act in a good way. But you might need to do a lot of research before you get good at what you're doing. What the first thing about "dumb" people is that they don't feel good about themselves and so they do things to bring themselves down, not to try to be diplomatic. If you don't get good at it, you can just be mean because they won't act friendly. They don't feel that way, and you can talk nice about them and be nice to them, but they don't want to be that way. It's not easy to be diplomatic but people should not do what they like to do all the time, or like to do to you. This means thinking with your heart instead of your head, and not feeling guilty when you tell a little white lie because it might be the last one you can afford. You can't be diplomatic with people who just want to cheat you or who want to beat you up. A person with a conflict and a strong desire for revenge is not diplomatic and would make it difficult to find a solution to their problem. Diplomacy doesn't work well with people who want to get back at someone because then there will be no compromise and no negotiation. They want revenge and don't know how to express their feelings through compromise. When someone comes to me for help, I look at their conflict with an open mind and ask what their goal is and what they think is wrong and what they think they could do to solve the conflict and work something out. You should consider what they think is good about the situation, too, and not just focus on what's bad or wrong about it. But, if you get into a fight or try to explain that there is nothing wrong with the things you want to do and that you should just do it because you want to, then I might get angry or sad and not want to be diplomatic. That's not diplomatic, and they should respect that or they might just ignore you. Not all conflict is about people's choices. We also need to think about who does something that pisses us off or makes us afraid and not react to what people say that makes us feel bad. We should deal with things rationally, one step at a time, and not let the negative thoughts that make us sad make us angry. When you feel upset, look at your thinking to see what you have been taught or what you've learned by watching other people or by listening to advice you get from people you think you know. They might have good information about other countries and other places or they might have heard things like this from someone they know or saw it on television or on the internet, and this doesn't make the information any better. If people say that the most important thing is to be diplomatic, then you should keep it in mind if you have a choice. But diplomacy is a way to be nice without being rude. You might be surprised at what you learn about them, what the situation is like, and how diplomacy could work. Maybe it's not such a bad thing that they have a friend who is diplomatic but not smart or nice, but could be fun, too. It doesn't mean that there's nothing bad to it, like if they say that they hate life and so they spend all their time, and money, and efforts on getting what they want. Diplomacy could look like bad luck in what they do. But diplomacy might be easy to see when they are being diplomatic because they would act like a diplomat. When I see something or hear something and think it's nice to be smart and know how to do a thing, or that you should just do something because it's good, I might think that diplomacy is good. When I'm really sick of something, or somebody does something, or says something that makes me mad, then I might go the other way and not be polite. I might have a smart answer and be able to talk to someone. Diplomacy is an invisible force and a feeling that you have nothing to lose. It could be a way of doing things that will cost you something. But we need diplomacy, too, because people don't always do the right thing and you don't want to always be in the wrong place. You need diplomacy, because people are sometimes wrong, too, and they might not agree to what they don't like to do. When I read something, it's almost like it's giving me something that I can