After spending 1 month in the morgue in a preciouse job, our newest employee told some of the most interesting stories of his time working in a funeral home that I have heard in a long time. I hope you all enjoy this read as much as I have enjoyed the writing. This started with a conversation with my wife in the car about how to get rid of an annoying spider. It’s been almost 2 months and I’m still trying to figure out how we found that thing. The next day I found the carcass of a large dog about 8 feet from the spider’s web. So, with fear at an all time high, we burned the spider. If you know what killed the dog then please let me know, otherwise we are probably just as lucky as you are. A week or so went by and we found another dead animal. This one had been ripped open by a wild animal. So, even though it was in the middle of the woods, it was quickly taken care of and we moved on. This is where we got on the topic of my new job. I was asked if I’ve had any animal encounters in my time as a mortician. I have had plenty but this one I found to be particularly interesting. Now, there is something special about an animal attack. You’re out in the middle of the woods and you have a dead animal. Not in a graveyard. Out in the middle of nowhere. On your property. It’s usually not a zombie or a werewolf attacking you but instead it is usually a wild animal that may have come down from the mountains to enjoy its kill and then leave in the morning. And because we were so far off the road, most people wouldn’t know what type of animal left that bite mark on that hunter who was out looking for his wife after she went missing. So, it was odd to see this guy in a nice suit sitting on his new deck smoking a pipe. There is a dead fox laying right in front of him. We found the fox under the deck. I didn’t know if he had a shotgun or if he was just having a smoke. As I looked around to see if we could find a gun, I noticed the man start coughing and choking. It was really odd. He was clearly sick and coughing hard but he was looking at the fox. Just choking a little. He didn’t even blink. I couldn’t help but think that it was some weird trick of the mind that we had witnessed. In fact, he was choking at this fox he just looked at while I looked for a gun, trying to find a gun, trying to not look at the fox. Even though we weren’t scared of it, we decided to go into the house to get something for him to use. We were walking around the house and trying to not look at it. It just looked like the fox laid there for a while, a little weak, almost like it was sick. There is nothing scary about the smell of a dead animal. Especially a fox and it wasn’t decomposing. We found the little pile of the fox under the deck of the man’s house and saw that he had a lot of food with him. We started thinking that maybe he had gotten it in this fox that was underneath the deck of his house. We figured that it was just eating the rats or mice or something and that is why it got sick. I started to look around and there was food everywhere. It wasn’t just one bag of chips. He was eating a lot of food and he even had an apple juice. I did not mention the black widow spider to him at all, at least not that night. I figured that maybe it could have gotten the fox while it was on his deck and if so, it didn’t seem to bother him so much as he was eating chips or whatever it was and then we found the fox. So, that was pretty much it. I started to leave and he started saying something to me and wanted to know why it was dead. It took him a few moments to realize what I said, that it was dead and that I was just there to check if there was a gun or not and he seemed a little weird about it. It was weird enough to think that this man was mentally messed up but he probably just had some type of sickness. I don’t know if it was food poisoning or if it was some other type of illness. We found out later he did have some weird disease in his brain. At the time, we had just made a joke about his brain being messed up. Now, maybe this can be used by some crazy maniac out there that wants to play tricks on the world, but I believe that most people can come up with their own ideas on how to be strange. I hope you enjoy this post. It has been quite interesting writing about this incident. A while ago we found an ad online for a local newspaper and it was asking for people who have a job like mine. The owner, an old friend of the family, gave me a job when he had some free time and I did a couple of years worth of work in a very short time. He had some health problems and was dealing with some family issues and he needed help with his day to day activities. So, for a little over a year I spent 6 hours a day taking phone calls, taking orders, collecting and delivering food, water and any needed toiletries and personal items to people in the hospital and nursing home. I enjoyed the job. I enjoyed helping people when they were having trouble. I especially liked delivering a nice steak dinner for someone that needed a little distraction from life’s problems and a lot of people came out of the dark and gave me a little attention. It was my job to listen. Now, this job wasn’t easy but it was a nice way to make a little money. I think you would be surprised how many hours are spent on making dinner. It is also a good way to help out a family or friend that needs it in a time of need. Now, over the last year we have seen how restaurants operate and you have a lot of people making dinner for you. You would think it would be a lot more efficient with the automation of food delivery but this means more people getting food delivered and you don’t get much of a social life. The thing I have noticed about eating at restaurants is that while there are nice menus and even nice food, it just wasn’t the same food. Sometimes it wasn’t the food at all. It was something that got cooked and then frozen. I would say that it was better than frozen dog food but that is pretty much what you were eating at most restaurants. I just think that people need to understand the reality of making restaurant quality food. It’s not easy. So, for the people who want their breakfast cooked nice and to have a clean environment and get some nice food in the middle of the day, I would suggest that you take your business and support to local restaurants. When it comes to food for our families and friends, it isn’t something that should be rushed. It shouldn’t be bought when you are out and about or sitting in a restaurant waiting for your food, unless you are doing it for work. It can wait. It has been years since I saw an advert for a restaurant that didn’t care about the quality of their food. I can remember as a child when my Dad would get up in the morning and cook bacon and eggs in the kitchen and we would eat it for dinner. My Dad actually cooked everything in the house when I was growing up. He liked to work outside the house and then take a break in the kitchen. So, you could call him in the morning and say I want a bacon and eggs dinner, he would come home from work, fix the bacon and eggs in about an hour and then dinner was on. I remember when I was little when I had to have dinner and he would grill the steaks, I would go out and shoot the grasshoppers that were coming out in front of the house. I can’t wait for my son to be grown so he can get a nice steak for dinner, cook it in the middle of the day, cut it off and put it back in the box when it is done. At least that is what we do. I also love going out and having a nice steak cooked for me and I just don’t see the point. I wish people would make more effort in the quality of the food that is out there but I guess people aren’t used to paying attention to what they eat. It is just hard to ask a child to pay attention to his food or his health and then you have someone with a family and a job that just wants to be paid. They shouldn’t have to care about the quality of the food. That is why we have take out. My wife and I were talking the other day about people who don’t care about the quality of food in fast food places. I guess that it is because it is nice and comfortable. I can go out to dinner or to a family event and get food that is perfectly cooked, but I just don’t see the need for it. I would rather just go to a restaurant and have some good