I Need a Dance Partner by The Steve Miller Band When love goes wrong – well the man can do nothing right. That’s what you think when you hear a relationship in trouble. The chorus speaks to a point in all of us that is the core of existence. Is it love? The heart? Is it lust? Money? Fame? Or perhaps the reason is that your life is a mess and you’re just spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere. I Need a Dance Partner, however, is about that one moment when everything seems to be going perfectly, and then all of a sudden your world turns upside down. In 1978, when my wife and I had only been married for three months, my son was only four months old and had been asleep for three hours, we had just got the news that our first born was going to be a boy. Our world changed, our house changed, and our lives changed, because from that point on we had this little guy who had to be looked after. For a while, I thought that I needed a dance partner. I had never been so lost, unsure, and lonely. I had just gotten the news that this little man who I didn’t know was part of me. I was lost in the world of parenting. The lyrics speak to us about a need that is so true. The need for an intimate relationship. A need for belonging. A need to feel that we’re good enough to receive what the other person is giving. A need to feel a dance partner. Someone who would just be there to hold you and help you move in this world. Someone who is dancing right next to you, who just needs to know that you know that you can dance with him or her too. It’s one of the reasons that songs are so powerful, because they get to the essence of who we are, and help to paint a picture of who we are and who we hope to be. The music speaks to a theme that was so familiar to me. You’re out there trying to play it cool and keep it together but the truth is your heart is breaking, and you can’t stop thinking about her/him. You’re thinking about her/him so much that you can’t think about anything else. You can’t think about the work you have to do, you can’t think about your friends, you can’t think about anything except her/him. You get lost in the feeling and so does your partner. If you’ve been there and ever felt that longing that you just have to give into, I hope this song touches you. I hope it brings you back to that time and to that moment when you just wanted to dance, but no one was asking you to dance. But you asked anyway. And then you realized how much you’ve always wanted to dance, and how much fun it is when you’re dancing. I can promise you that even if you’re in a very broken relationship and you feel like there is no hope, that you can still feel hopeful. You can still feel the joy that’s inside you, and the possibility. You can dance on the edge of your seat, and hold on tight, knowing that the ground underneath your feet is not solid anymore. The ground is moving, and the world is coming together and dancing with you. A song to dance to as you make your way from one moment to another. To that place where the whole world is a dance partner. A song to dance to as you move from broken into blissful, dancing with your spouse, your family, or a friend. And when you are the person that helps your friend or partner move through that relationship transition into hope and possibility again, may I suggest to you that it’s not a coincidence at all that you share this experience with them. It’s a gift from a friend and from God. To remind us all that we are not just alone, but dancing with each other. And the ground beneath our feet is not solid, it is beautiful. It is hope. And our dance partners, they are beautiful too. So give this song a listen. Be gentle with yourself as you listen. Allow the pain to go away. Let it become a reminder of the moment when you were ready for your dance partner. The moment you were ready to be loved by another person. And you trusted God to bring them to you. This song is not about you. It’s not about me. It’s not about what I did or what I could have done differently. And it doesn’t matter if you and your partner don’t have that blissful moment or that intense, dance-filled experience that others have. I’ve felt pain before in my life. I’ve been hurt by others. I’ve been broken. But through it all, I was never really without hope, because in the end I was dancing, and I always would be dancing. Hope is a gift and a power of God’s love. Even more, the pain and the joy that you get to experience in life was ordained by God and he can bring them both to you. So whatever you’re going through, know that you are not alone. You’re dancing. And you’re going to find a way through it.