Perception is Not Always Reality A few weeks ago the other day I was sitting in a lecture. I found that one of my peers was taking a very hard approach to understanding concepts and was getting frustrated with the lecture. He was looking at his peers and trying to justify how he thought the material should be going. This is often a result of someone wanting to be right or not wanting to be wrong. In short it is about the ego. He was frustrated because he wanted to have a clear answer and everyone else seemed to be saying ‘we are still working this through.’ Instead of listening to him and looking into the nature of the answer himself he went away. This is an old trick. We as a species like order. We like to have our feet under us and where we are right now. It is comfortable. The trouble is that sometimes order is not what is needed in the situation. What we thought was right may be the worst approach. Being challenged by the material can be uncomfortable but it is a good thing. In order for us to live in this world of the unseen we need to get outside of what we think we know and experience this unseen in the most intimate way possible. Here is where my teacher points us. As I sat with my student in that lecture it occurred to me that what he was thinking and feeling was wrong. What he heard was wrong and yet he was convinced that his feelings were correct. I realized that something was going on. I spoke up for a moment to express what I was experiencing. In my mind I thought it was important for him to see my experience so that I could guide him into a new way of thinking. In my head I thought it was an exciting opportunity for him to see. The other people in the room heard the words I was saying and thought it was weird and kind of irrelevant. On the other hand, in my heart it felt right. What the other person felt at that time was not good and it was true. It was a mistake to move the conversation in that direction and to even think of it at all. The answer was right before my eyes but I didn’t see it. My own ego did not allow me to see. The person speaking seemed to see what I didn’t see. That is why I was so frustrated with him. In the next lesson we discussed what the reason for the situation was. Turns out that person is someone I have known for a very long time. He even had a role in my marriage counseling sessions last year. We had a lot of personal connection in the years we have been together. As such I think I was blinded. I was looking at it from a personal level and not from the perspective of the teacher. The problem was not that my student was wrong. The problem was that his thoughts were in conflict with mine and his actions were in conflict with his thoughts. We see this in all parts of life. People can be right on everything and the way they interact with others can be in conflict with that idea. It is about what we do and what we think rather than what we say we are thinking or feeling. There are several times that this has happened to me. In life I have heard great music yet found my self at a loss for what to do with it. The music moved me but I had no way to make a connection with the music. I couldn’t say anything about it but still be okay with it. It took a while for me to learn to sit with the discomfort of feeling like I had nothing to say about things like this. I felt the pain of this realization every time I thought I was in the right and someone else was in the wrong. One of the greatest things that came from this experience was a change in my belief in myself and in others. In the words of a great teacher I now believe that I and everyone else is good at something. We all have things we are good at. What is most important is that I try to understand that and be willing to take the next step. I am always the worst judge of the value of myself. The best I can do is go with my gut feelings and listen for the answers that come from within. I have had a lot of opportunities to show this because we live in a world where there are few absolutes. It is a constantly changing environment where I will always have some sort of conflict with something or someone. I am not a perfect person and never will be. It would be difficult for me to be any other way. Because of my history I cannot let anything get by. I have had to learn from my experience and recognize how my experience was based on my beliefs. I am not the same person I was yesterday. What that means is I have changed. I have new insights that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. What I feel today is new and it will be different tomorrow. I cannot expect tomorrow to look like yesterday. There is something to be said for being in the moment. The world of the unseen is the ultimate adventure. I cannot stay comfortable. What is important is that the way I think is constantly changing and reflecting what is going on in the world. I don’t really know what tomorrow will be like. My guess is that it is going to be different from what it is today. At the heart of all this there is a question that constantly comes up. I don’t know if there is something there that wants to get out. If I am in my heart, it seems like that is all I see. I don’t know if what I see is true. I don’t know if anything really is true. Who really knows what is going on? For now I need to accept that I don’t really know what is going on and that what I feel and think is correct is a great adventure. I always have something to learn, something to work on and a better way of living. I like that. In my life I have never stopped learning about what it means to be a human being. The adventure of life continues. If you feel this, leave a comment! Related Posts Dreams Are they the same? What do they mean? The reality of the dreams I have had lately has been so much more powerful than I expected them to be. 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