They're Back!
They Came at Us Wi
They Both Went Ban
There's Gonna Be T
There's Gonna Be H
There's Gonna Be B
There's Always a T
There's a New Sher
Then There Were Fi
Their Red-Headed S

This Game Ain't Ov
This Game Respects
This Has Never Hap
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This is Going to H
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This is Where the
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This Camp is Cursed." "You all knew that when you came here to visit last summer." "Do not ever forget that." "The reason why I've asked you all here this weekend is because" "I have found a new member of our family." "It's that my daughter, Sammy." "Oh, my God!" "My God, I'm still here." "Where do I hide the knife?" "Hey, Sammy." "So how do you feel about all this?" " I love it." " Me too." "Let's take a look at this house of horrors, shall we?" "Now, you wanna be careful." "It was last painted in 1972." "And according to the city inspector, who had no soul, there are termites, dry rot, possible pregnancy, and possible concussion to the guest room." "That's the window from where I was just pushed out." "Hey, where did you get that picture?" "That was taken right outside that window." " What was going on?" " That's our neighbor, Bill." "He caught us here a few years ago and told us we had to take down this sign." "Oh, this makes sense." "Yeah." "The guy doesn't have to paint a sign." "It's already on the side of his house." "Hello?" " What's this?" " The whole nine yards." "I don't know what that means." "That means you don't know." "How can you not know?" "You were the leader." "Yeah, but, Sammy, the leadership fell on me." "You were supposed to have my back." " I don't think I could take any more of this." " What are you talking about?" "You're just gonna put this all on me?" " Yeah, I'm saying it's your fault!" " And why is it my fault?" "Cause if you'd have been here, it never would have happened!" "Whoa, easy there, little Gabe." "Now, hold on a minute." "All right?" "I'm the one that wanted to come here." "When you were in juvy, I said no." "When we were in Florida, I said no." "We didn't think that a summer camp could make a difference." "Now look at where we are." "If this is my fault, how do I make it better?" "Well, I suggest you get off your fat ass and get us out of here." "Fine!" " I'm going." "All right?" " Yep." "That's great." "And what are you gonna do?" "Fiddle around here and do everything you say?" "Yes, I am." "The reason I'm gonna be in a chair is because" "I don't know if you know this about me," "but I like to keep my hands in my pockets at all times." " You do?" " Yeah." "Sometimes" " I wear a handkerchief, or like to carry a bag around." "This place was built in the '60s." "It wasn't built for someone as fat as you." "It was built for a skinny person to get an idea, come in here and be inspired." "Look at this." "I don't know how to use any of this stuff." "Now, let me show you." "If you don't mind, what the hell are you doing?" " I was being a fat person!" " I don't wanna be fat!" "Sammy?" "I got her." "I got her." "Let's take her in the kitchen." "I got her, I got her." "Let's take her to the kitchen." "Here we go." "You don't know where the kitchen is?" "Oh, it's right here, Miss Thing." "It's right in your own house." "It's right here, Miss Thing." "It's right here, Miss Thing." "It's right here, Miss Thing." "It's right here, Miss Thing." "Okay." "You must be wondering what I'm doing?" "Well, this is called house-keeping." "Here we go." "You take that knife and that whisk and put them right on this plate right here." "And that way, when you're done eating you won't go home with a fork stuck in your ear." "You don't have a fork in your ear, do you?" "I do." "Listen, are you just planning on living here?" "Yes." "Yes, I am." "I will not be spoken to as if I'm a child." "Then get out of here." "All right." "Let me know when you're done with that thing there." "And you won't see me for a couple of days." "And while you're out, don't forget to check under the sofa, under the bed." "Well, is that it?" "Now what?" "Get your things." "We're going home." "Do I have to be humiliated any longer?" "I will not be treated like a little girl!" "The fat lady has spoken." "Oh, my God!" "I hate my life!" "I hate my life!" "How you doing, Bill?" "I'm good." " You feelin' any better?" " Yeah." "A lot better." "Yeah, I guess it's all a matter of mind over matter." "I guess so." "So, you think I'm a good man, huh?" "Well, if by good you mean a man who can still kick your butt, then yeah." "Well, if you don't mind, I'm not so sure." "I don't mind at all." "We are what we are, and what we are is good enough." "And what we will be is better than what we were." " What's that supposed to mean?" " I'm in no hurry to grow up." "I mean, you seem to take pride in being known as the big fat nothing." "Oh, well." "That's just because you don't know me, Bill." "Have you ever made love to a woman?" "Come on, Jack." "Let's go." "A woman with big titties?" "Okay." "Let's see what you got." "Okay." "Good job." "Bill?" "Bill, are you all right?" "Can you stand up?" "Yeah, I think so." "Oh, my God!" "Bill?" "Hi." "How are you doing?" "I had the best time at your barbeque last night." "You were so right." "You're so cute." "You're so right." "So what is it about?" "Look at me." "I love you." "I love you." "Do I have boobs?" "So, you get enough to eat." "And you, yeah, okay." "So what do you think of her?" "She just seems a little clingy." "I mean, she's your daughter, dude." "Yeah, well, my wife just died of a horrible disease." "So we haven't gone out on any dates yet." "Hey." "This is Sammy." " Hi." "Sammy, this is Gabe and Jackie." "Hi." "I don't know about you guys, but this is too good." "This is like something right out of the movies." "It's great." "That makes two of us, pal." "I cannot believe what you did." "You went out of your way to look like a fool in front of all our friends and for what?" "Listen, I mean, I thought Sammy was cool and funny and all that." "What's that?" "I didn't say that." "I mean, I think he's a great guy, but" "I mean, a guy would have to be pretty stupid to date Sammy because he's never gonna be anything more than a pathetic dork, which is what I was before I met you." "And that's what he'll always be." "And you know what?" "He was." "He was a dork." "He wasn't even that great-looking." "But now he's cute." "And he's smart." "And if I didn't have my own sense of humor," "I'd probably like him." "What was that?" "You know, the guy with the little twirly thing in his hair." "Oh, God." "Can I help you?" " Hey." " Hi." "You probably wanna know what this is about, huh?" "If I knew, I'd be in seventh grade." "It seems like a pretty serious thing for Sammy to be mad at you about." "Well, he told me he couldn't stand me, so I decided to go ahead and do it." "You told him he was an idiot?" "I don't know if I said that, but I was mad, so yeah." "Okay." "I did that." "Anyway, I went by your place." "And it was pretty cool." "Yeah." "Thanks." "So why did Sammy say you were an idiot?" "I think he's got some bad history with girls." "Well, anyway, you know what?" "He's right." "You are an idiot." "Yeah?" "But look at me." "I'm an idiot, too." "It's gonna be okay." "You know why?" "Because our kids are probably gonna be idiots, too." "Let's just hope they're retarded idiots." "I'm sorry I