You Can't Hide on Survivor." "Survivor:" "Cambodia" "What I was really annoyed about is that she actually believed that I had killed this guy." "I'm not gonna go down and make it look like a cop did something wrong, you know?" "To let her know, I took care of it and then not tell her." "Okay." "So I'm saying, "Hey, this isn't the way it was."" "Yes, sir." "It was a game." "And that's the last time you're ever gonna get, "No, you're right."" "I believe that it's fair that everybody knows that I'm a cop." "It's gonna be out there, anyway." "The reason why I did what I did was that I had no choice." "I had a target on my back 'cause I'm a police officer." "You know, I went out there to do a job, and it didn't end up well for me, but I don't think they'll be coming after me the rest of my life." "But I'll be real honest with you." "I know it's gonna go on forever." "I know they're gonna say what they want to say about me." "And that's all right." "I can handle that." "I think that a lot of people have a vendetta against cops, because they've been victims, I understand that." "I would also want to let them know that I'm a really nice guy." "A lot of people who have never even met me judge me because of the profession that I was in, and I don't understand why they do that." "So..." "So many people out there who know me, who don't know me personally, judge me, hate me, and call me stupid names." "Just because of the color of my skin?" "Being a cop isn't a job or a career." "It's what you do." "It's not what you make, it's what you give." "I tried to give my life to my job." "I tried to protect everyone that I could protect and my community." "But this thing just got away from me." "I'm so sorry." "I tried, but I failed." "I want to come out here and I want to tell everybody that I'm sorry." "But the only reason I wanted to come here and say it to you guys is to try to start over again, 'cause the last thing that I need is a target on me for the rest of my life." "Okay?" "It is time to take you home." "Yeah!" "How 'bout that?" "I'm gonna call you back, man." "You okay?" "Yeah, I'm all right." "You know, there's nothing I can say to make it right." "And you don't have to forgive me, but..." "Let's go." "That was tough, man." "But, um..." "Let's go." "If it happens, it happens." "So..." "If there is a reason..." "So, there's one thing, it's just..." "Well, all the years that you got there..." "And you're telling me, "Don't let people talk about me that way."" "This is all there is, but the thing is that people will say this or this or this and this..." "That's what they gonna say, but this is just like this, you know?" "There's nothing to hold." "If they want to talk..." "All right." "Let them say." "I'm gonna be honest." "It got all over the place." "You know what I'm saying?" "He went off that you was, like, the greatest cop in the world, and stuff like that." "I did this." "You did all this because of me." "I feel good." "Well, here we go." "This is the end of the tape." "What was the thing you felt like you lost most?" "The trust, you know?" "The trust." "Trust." "That's right." "I know." "You know." "Yes, sir." "If they just wanted to play the game..." "Well, they have had their fun with the game, all right." "Now let's go home." "I want to go home." "You see what happens when you just got, because you let somebody to do this to you?" "You think about it..." "It's bad." "So they say stuff about you." "But this guy can think about himself for real." "We're going home, now." "You're saying, "Trust me, go home."" "You know, I was really looking forward to this." "What do you think I'm gonna say?" "This is really not my thing." "You're not saying this to me." "You know what you're saying to me?" "I was at work, and I had a choice to go in and work." "I don't know, I choose to go here with the guys." "I like to be with the people." "If I'm in the car, I want the windows up, not down." "I want the doors locked." "I'm..." "I'm..." "Like, I can take care of myself." "No matter what you say." "How can you live like this?" "I'm just saying..." "I got one thing." "I need to go home." "The reason why I'm saying it's because this is your home." "It's your home." "I know it's not you, but it's people you met and everybody says this..." "And here's some people, and everybody says this and everybody says that..." "I can see that it's a bad thing, but I'm just saying, for them..." "What are you saying?" "When he's thinking about himself, he's being a man." "I was having fun." "I went there on vacation." "I did what I wanted." "I went to the gym, work." "I'm telling you, I felt sorry for myself." "I'm talking about the guy who did this, you know what I'm saying?" "The reason why I said that is because of all the things that you've done for me." "You're in the gym." "I'm with you in the gym." "I'm having a great time, but, uh, it's the whole thing." "You know what I'm saying?" "Like, I try to keep going." "But I don't care about the house or the things." "All of it's yours anyway." "You know what I'm saying?" "What did they do?" "I want to get ready." "I don't need..." "You know what I'm saying?" "And I thought about the thing in the gym." "I didn't feel sorry for myself at all." "And I felt bad for him because he's going to get his paycheck." "Okay." "So he had..." "You're having some fun, and it's not fun at all." "I don't want to go anywhere right now." "I just want to be home." "I just want to get up and go out and run and do things, you know?" "Like I said, I don't want to take the bus home." "I just want to be home." "I can come to court if you want me to come." "If I can get a ride." "I told you that I had to do this." "I'm glad you come here." "Now I'm starting all over." "This is a good start." "So far, so good." "Yeah, I hope it'll be all right." "That's all right." "Let me know when it's okay." "It's okay with me." "So now I'm just..." "Like you can see everything that was my life that I couldn't see for myself." "And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry for everything." "I just..." "I'm not in that frame of mind." "I need to be home." "I need to be home, man." "It's okay, man." "It's okay." "Come on, now." "Come on, now." "Take your time." "Take your time." "Okay." "We just get home now, and we move on." "We get ready for tomorrow's game, all right?" "So, you know, I don't know what to say." "I don't know what to say." "I don't know what to say." "I don't know what to say." "They didn't tell me how they got my stuff out of there, but I just assume that when I got home, my bag was there." "I didn't know how it all got out