I’ve known it from the moment that we met. I never said a single word about it before that, not to my sister, not to my friends, not even to Dad. I knew he knew, as well, but he never said a word about it to me. As long as it wasn’t going to change anything I thought he was going to keep his word and just leave us alone about it. Dad was going to be the head of the family, and he promised to look after us and let us be. Even if he couldn’t give us an easy life. It was a life we were used to anyway. We lived together in our family-owned big house in a small town on the coast of British Columbia. That was enough for me, but Jenna… she was younger than me by just six months. She always made Dad really mad, she was very stubborn and was always challenging him. That’s why I didn’t dare tell him about it. He’d come home drunk and angry all the time. I wasn’t going to tell him the reason why he was drinking so much. Jenna would be better off without him anyway. Jenna had gotten everything she needed in life, I couldn’t understand her. She had everything she wanted, and Dad always gave it to her. Jenna was so spoiled. I was the oldest and, as a result, I got the most. I wanted to help out, but I didn’t get any special privileges at school. Everyone assumed I was smarter, which was okay, but I couldn’t do anything special, or get into a better college or university. That’s why, when Jenna and I were sixteen, we both agreed that Dad needed to be sent to an institution. We were so relieved when Dad said that he had found out an opening in the psychiatric hospital. He got his wish, the doctors at the hospital agreed that he was sick and needed help. Everything was going as planned, and Jenna was happy. Dad, now that he had gotten rid of us, he could finally drink and sleep around with whoever he wanted. He wouldn’t be home and it was all good. I was in my room, at home, playing with my computer, when I heard Dad start a fight with Jenna. I got up to see what was happening and was not very surprised to hear him yelling at her, telling her to shut up and that he didn’t want to hear from her anymore. That she had already cost him too much money and that he wasn’t going to spend anymore of it on her. Jenna had already tried to convince him to give us more, but he wouldn’t listen. I was happy that Jenna got cut out of the picture once and for all, now I wouldn’t have to deal with her. Jenna was too bad for me. As soon as I heard that Dad was drunk and angry with her I knew that he wouldn’t listen to her anymore. Jenna was going to get the same punishment that Dad had given me, and Dad would be happy that he got rid of her. Jenna had gotten everything she needed in life, I couldn’t understand her. She had everything she wanted, and Dad always gave it to her. Jenna was so spoiled. Dad was going to be the head of the family, and he promised to look after us and let us be. Even if he couldn’t give us an easy life. The head of the family? I was going to give my sister a gift today and for Christmas Eve I had saved up to buy it. It was going to be a surprise. I bought the card that would fit with the gift and went to Jenna’s room, because I knew that she was the only one who was home. We were always having the same Christmas, I was there for dinner and Jenna for dessert. That’s what we were used to anyway, we were happy. I knocked on Jenna’s door and she didn’t answer, so I opened it. Dad? Is he home? No, he’s at the hospital. He had tried to kill himself a few weeks ago, but I don’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say anything bad about your dad. It’s just that sometimes… I feel that you don’t care about me, you just care about your dad. What are you talking about? Just look at me. So I looked at her, and I really saw her for the first time. She was always pretty and well dressed, but to me she was a stranger. All I ever thought about was her father. I thought about the moment when she was still my little sister and how he put her in his life, the lives of his new family. I never thought about the mother. I never asked what happened. I was always curious about why she never appeared in my life. Now I felt really sorry for Jenna, the girl who was living a lie and a life that she didn’t want. That’s when the gift appeared on the floor of the house and I heard Jenna scream from the stairs. A gift, why? I thought he doesn’t know that we have a store here that sells gift cards. But if he’s gone he’s not going to know, there is only one place that sells them. Why do you care about that? I had never had the courage to go to town in the weeks that I had been here, and I couldn’t afford to go without him knowing about it. When I was seventeen, I was forced to go to town with him, but it wasn’t a good idea. I remember I wanted to tell him something but he never would let me, so I ended up going by myself. In the end he just left me behind and we never spoke about it again. I don’t think that ever happened again. I knew that I had to leave before he came back, or else he would find out about it. It’s Christmas, I don’t care. Why do you have to go? You have your own place in this house and we have enough money. But it’s not my fault, I can’t explain why. I have to leave, but I’m sure you don’t care if I stay or go? Jenna, calm down. I have to go, I just have to. Please don’t do this. I don’t want to see you, I never thought that you would be so cruel to me. Jenna, he’s drunk! It’s not his fault. He was good to you until he found out about the money. How can you talk about this like that, you were spoiled, it wasn’t your fault. Don’t do this, let’s talk about it. We have to talk, don’t you think that you owe me that much? You don’t want me to ask you for anything, but I can’t stand seeing you be like this. Let’s go upstairs, I’m going to explain it to you. And I want you to come with me. I need to know. I don’t know, I need to think about it, please don’t be mad. Dad was mad, now I had to deal with him and his anger, I didn’t want to hear it again. Let’s go upstairs, I’m going to explain it to you. I don’t know, I’m not coming upstairs if you can’t tell me. It has nothing to do with you, I need to think about it, please don’t be mad. No, you need to be mad now. Please don’t ask me about this anymore. Okay, I won’t ask you anything, but you need to tell me something. But you’ll have to ask Dad, if you don’t go home he’s going to take care of me. You don’t know how hard it was for me to decide what to do. I do know that I can’t ask you to change the way you think. I’m not changing, I’m still leaving with you. I’m not going. I’m not going with you if you don’t change. You still want to go to town? It’s up to you, let’s go down and talk to Dad. This can’t be true. She was sitting on the edge of her bed in her pajamas with tears running down her face. I never had the courage to see what was down there, I was always scared of what I would find, and now I couldn’t even look at it. Jenna and I were both afraid, I knew that Dad had never loved her, and