Chris! I told you not to do that. That is going to complicate things." "My bad man. I was just checking on my patient." "I should have told you the truth about that. You're a good guy, Chris." "Thanks dude. I don't know why you call me dude. I am definitely not a dude." "Dude is a gender-neutral term. Dude is not limited to male gender, you know. It is a more modern and universal term. We use it so frequently now that it is becoming gender-neutral." "Yeah, but I am not dude." "I've got to do some research into it. I am quite positive that dude is gender-neutral." "Ok, dude." "Chris, don't make me regret this." "I won't." "Chris, promise me." "Ok, promise me." "Chris, please promise me." "OK, ok. I promise, dude." "Now that we have established that dude is gender-neutral, call me Chris or bro." "So. I am gonna put some ice on his head, you guys check his pupils, make sure he doesn't have any concussion, and we will be alright." "Oh, ok." "You said you were gonna check his pupils?" "Yeah, sure. I'll go check them now." "Sure, I got a flashlight in here too." Chris begins a light exam. The patient doesn't respond. The patient's eyes are open, but the pupils are not dilated. The patient is breathing. There is a very light pressure on his head. "Ok." "What happened, Chris?" "I don't know." "Let me think for a second." Chris sits down to think. He needs to figure out what to do next. He needs to check out the patient's pupils. He needs to do a better examination. He needs to figure out what is wrong with the patient. The patient is struggling to breathe. The patient's lips are blue. He has become quite pale. The patient doesn't respond to any pain. His eyes are closed. "Chris, what happened?" "I don't know. We could call this a night, though. You wanna call it a night?" "No, let's see what's wrong with the patient. We still don't know what's wrong with him." "You don't think he has something really wrong with him?" "I am not sure. It could be a lot of things. It could be a severe head injury, too. I am not sure. I am not even sure if he is injured in the first place." "Are you giving up on this?" "No, not yet. I am giving him a couple more minutes. He is barely breathing." "We are not giving up on this, dude. Come on Chris, let's see what happens." "Ok. Let's do a couple of other things. Did the patient say he has a severe head injury?" "No. He said he is feeling great, though. He has a couple bumps and bruises and he thinks he is gonna run." "Oh, right. Look at his pupils." "Let me see. I don't see any dilation." "What do you mean?" "No, no, I don't know. We will see. We will wait." "I am going to get his blood pressure." "Ok, Chris. Let me know. You're doing fine so far." Chris feels the patient's wrist. He presses down on it. He cannot get an acceptable reading. He puts the patient's arms in an elevated position and he continues to press down on the patient's wrist. He is about to switch to his other wrist when he hears the voice behind him. "Chris, get over here." Chris looks back over his shoulder. His supervisor is looking at him. Chris tries to ignore him. His supervisor is the supervisor of the whole ER, one of the most experienced and competent ER doctors in the hospital. He is in a hurry to prove himself in this important first emergency scenario. Chris waits for a while. The patient is breathing really hard, really quickly. His chest is expanding with each chest inhalation. Chris knows he doesn't have much time. He waits a little longer. The supervisor knows he does not have much time. Chris keeps looking at the patient. He knows that the patient needs more time. The supervisor knows that Chris has had enough time to examine the patient and make a diagnosis. Chris knows that the supervisor is ready to give him some constructive criticism. Chris still does not do anything. Chris goes back to treating the patient. The patient goes on to have a more complicated surgery. He is the first patient to go into cardiac arrest in that ER. Chris cannot do much. The patient dies in the emergency room. The ER team is still treating the patient. Chris cannot help the patient by that time. The patient goes into arrest before the hospital can transport the patient. The patient is resuscitated. The patient's face is disfigured by the resuscitation efforts. Chris cannot do much for the patient because he does not know what to do to stabilize the patient's condition. The patient dies that day. Chris does not go to the nursing staff's office to hear what they are saying about him. Chris is in the hospital for his third day. He is in the clinic room with the other nurses. He is trying to learn the ropes, and he is trying to understand the different nursing roles. He cannot focus on the lessons. He is too much in his head, thinking about the patient. The patient dies that day. "Chris, what are you thinking about?" "I don't know. What were you talking about?" "The nurse that was talking about you in the reception room. She has been watching you in the clinic room. She has been complaining about you. I did not want to tell you, but she was complaining to me. She said that you should leave your patient and go to your desk. She said that you should go take a break and eat some ice cream. She said you had been thinking about your ex-girlfriend." "I wasn't thinking about her." "She does not see any signs of that." "I wasn't thinking about her. I was thinking about the patient. I was worried about him." "Is that it?" "Well, yeah." "You were thinking about the patient?" "Yeah. He is so tired." "Ok, I can understand that. He just had major surgery. That is the most satisfying experience in the whole hospital. That is not a surprise." "Yeah, you're right." "Chris, tell me, you have been with this girl for three months. Why can't she just let you go?" "Because I cannot. I want to be with her, but it is killing me. It is eating me alive." "So, she cannot let you go. I understand that. But I don't get it." "I guess she is not the one for me." "That is the thing. I guess you are not the one for her either. She told me that she likes you a lot. She feels bad for you." "She told you that?" "Yeah, she felt bad." "Wow, I cannot believe she feels bad for me. She feels bad for me." "Yeah, dude. I am amazed." "I know. I am amazed, too." "Wow, I am stunned. I am floored. This is so great. I am in such shock." "She feels bad for me." "You feel bad for her." "Yeah, Chris. I feel bad for her. She has got problems. The two of you cannot make this relationship work." "Why not?" "She said you cannot get rid of the past. And Chris, that is not it. You cannot stop thinking about it. If you do, you might get to the point that she cannot satisfy your needs. You might lose interest in her, and you will think about what else you might find with someone else. And you are not the kind of guy that someone else might replace you with." "I am the only one for her." "That is why you have been thinking about the patient." "I am trying to be in two different places at the same time. I am trying to be here and be there." "You cannot be here and there,