We Did it Guys" the whole thing with his hand going all over his son's privates. I'm sorry, but unless there's some super compelling reason (like a restraining order on the father, for example), then the police will NOT arrest you. But, let me say it again: the police will NOT arrest you if you shoot your SON in self-defense. Period. I have to say, I feel really sorry for the child in question. It just disgusts me, the way you're painting this man as some sort of scum, who is trying to do everything in his power to get his son in trouble. Because I'm pretty sure that if that was really the case, then he would have made a police report, and had this all sorted out. We were talking about some other stuff, and your topic popped into our minds, and here's our response. I can assure you, that he has had the kids on his taxes. As well as other support. He's the only one that could legally sign a bank draft for child support. What are you talking about? Maybe he does things legally and you feel that's right, but he's done nothing to report it in a police report. I know many men who have done just what you're saying. Maybe you can explain where I'm wrong. I love and support my children just as much as any father does. That doesn't mean I make the call to cops on every time my kids fight or go to school, I call a counselor or parent. I never had an excuse for a restraining order as a teen because I'm a mama and you can't take your kids from me, not even when they are grown adults and we no longer live under the same roof. Just my 2 cents. @Fenster: My ex is not a child abuser. At least he never has physically hurt my kids. He's verbally abusive and has tried to get me to leave several times. But as a parent, you always have to think that the other person may have different ideas and motives. I just want everyone to understand that I don't have a bias against child abusers or men in general. You're not getting my point if you see that as me saying that. And no, he isn't a great parent for allowing what happened to occur. But in no way does that mean that he should be charged or prosecuted. My ex-husband would call this "blaming the victim", so maybe I just don't understand it. If this was his first time teaching his kid about sexual intercourse, maybe I would blame him, but it wasn't. He had had enough chances to stop this happening, and didn't take them. I wish more parents took responsibility for their actions before going to law for their kid. I just see a lot of that when the dad is a single dad. Like this little situation at school that a judge put into place when the parent wanted to homeschool or something. It isn't going to get better in America, at least not for my kids or the children in this story. Yes, that's his life. I'm glad he cares about his kids, but that doesn't mean I am going to let his actions slide. I'm not responsible for what happened to him. I hope he can find someone to love him. I hope he can heal. I hope that one day he will realize that it's not his fault, it's mine. The judge is wrong, this is not about him or his family, this is about his actions. He has a lot of work to do to fix himself. I feel like I've said what I came here to say, so I'm going to let the posts flow where they may. But, just to respond to a few posts from the start: @Anonymous-- It's not your call to make who pays child support, it's his parents'. They also have the right to sue him, and do, I'm sure, for most if not all of the cost. @Fenster-- I see your point and disagree with you. I don't know what happened in the house or any of that. What I do know is that I do not care for you making judgements on this man and his family and the choices he made. I will say it one last time... He's not being prosecuted, even though you believe he should be. I think the parents in that household have a right to protect their own child, just as much as the state has the right to protect others in the community. @Fenster--I know, I know... I'm not agreeing with you on this. But, this is a free country and parents, in my opinion, have the right to say how they want to discipline their children, just as I, as a parent, have the right to discipline my children. A lot of what I have been saying is an agreement with what you've been saying. But this is an area in which I have never seen anything but good parenting. The parents took a stand, they told the abuser what they would and would not allow and then they took action. Do I think he was wrong to lay hands on his kid? Not really. If you disagree that he was wrong and you feel the child should be taken away from the parents and sent to a foster home or something, then yes, he was wrong. He took the law into his own hands in a way that he wasn't supposed to, and he could have been much better about it. If you agree he was wrong, but that they can't be prosecuted because they didn't report it to the cops, then I respectfully disagree. If you agree he was wrong and the child will grow up to be a "product" of a bad family, then I respectfully disagree. I think a lot of what you said is true, but then again, we're talking about men who were on drugs, too high to walk or even use a keyboard. And it's not like anyone is thinking about taking their son or daughter away. What I'm saying is that it was wrong to go in there and do that. Now, maybe he has had other things happen to him that justified that type of behavior, but he couldn't even get that much right. That's not for me to say, but that's why it's wrong for me to just stand there and let this guy go because there are far more important issues going on in this country today. If you think he should be charged or something, I'll respect that. I just think the whole thing is ridiculous, in the same way that the way your president is "managing" this country is ridiculous, too. I like the way I have been reading the posts. They really show a lot about a man and how he behaves toward another person's child. The way they feel, the way they have been told by their father, it is not always how the adults in the house do things. We live a different culture from the one in which we grew up, especially the men. You guys, in the States, sometimes do take it to an extreme. I have been thinking a lot about how my mom took it to extremes. She thinks that it is part of our nature. The fact that the male kids in my family that grew up in Africa often took me for granted because I was a female was something that would hit her emotionally on her worst days. But the children from the previous generation are not even sure how you guys see us. They look at the way things are done here in America. They tend to be shocked. So they make up a way to cope with it, the way we might say we made up an excuse to get out of doing the dishes when we were a kid. The father had a right to spank his child. But he was wrong to do it. His lack of experience in teaching was what made him say what he did. But then, that is what we call a "teaching moment". As for who pays child support: it is what it is. If I was making enough to cover for them both, then yes, it would be a given that the mothers support would go to my kids. I don't make that much. I can't say that if they were in my custody they wouldn't be in need of help. I'm not blaming you for it. But I'm pointing out that when the fathers make less, their child support tends to go to the mother, and that that is a tradition and system that we have around the world. Just like our grandparents were shocked by a male child being born to a female parent. They couldn't comprehend it because it was not the thing they saw. But then, that is what happens when you're brought up in an environment where the society is mostly female. So, all in all, the man was wrong. We understand it, we're not calling him a criminal or some idiot. He will get an education. He won't say anything in court, because the women would not want that. I'm sure if he was able to go to trial, he would be convicted, too. And we still would be in the same place - women being brought up in a society that has males as second class citizens. @Fenster, I'm with you... We just see the surface of things. Why are we so afraid to call someone a criminal?