Your heart is all I own. My home is a shack. But my heart is yours, and if you have it, I don't need money, so don't marry me for it. "What will you be doing in a year's time? In ten? I've only been here one day; I'm not so stupid as to try and make a guess about where I'll be in a year's time." That hit hard. He was so young. Her fingers strayed to the red rose in her hair. "I can't imagine you at twenty-six, so what would you like to see me do?" "I don't know. I like it when you read to me." He smiled, eyes lighting up, and she thought he was the most adorable man in the world. She'd only known him for a couple of hours, but he'd brought joy into her life for the first time in years. "So, tell me about you, Jake. How did you end up in the wilds of Wales?" He shrugged. "I lived in England until I was twenty, then I followed a woman to Australia. I lived there with her for a while and then I left her. As soon as I could, I booked a flight to Wales and never looked back." He could be so hard, so unfeeling, but when he laughed, the deep rich sound warmed her from the inside out. She'd fallen for him, that was clear. She'd always been a sucker for a good laugh, and Jake had a great one. She could even relate to his determination to find his family. "Now what?" he asked, and she realised how much time had passed while they'd been chatting. "How about you tell me your life story?" She gave a little laugh. "At least it'll keep us both entertained until your friends arrive." He laughed. "I'm sorry about that. I wasn't joking when I said I'd had the same conversation a hundred times in the last couple of weeks." He gestured to the small pile of documents on the table. "I know it's all very official, but if it was up to me, you'd be sitting in a nice restaurant right now with a glass of wine instead of reading this report." "I know," she replied. "But it was your wife's idea that you do some research before you take the plunge." He grinned at her, and her belly somersaulted. "Yeah, so this is where I'd say you shouldn't make decisions in your grief. But let's face it, you wouldn't be making this decision if it wasn't for Rachel." "I'll ignore that." She tried to keep her tone light, but her smile died on her lips when he looked up at her and gave her a rueful smile. "Well, your wife's right. I need more information than I'm likely to get in a day." He frowned, and she remembered how many mistakes she'd made when she'd been devastated over her marriage ending. "I can't imagine what you're feeling, Jake, but I think you're wrong. If the story's as amazing as you've hinted, don't put it off. Get that report done and then start to look for your family. Life's too short not to live it." "Yes, you're right. I'll do it." After that conversation, she made sure she got the report done so she could spend the rest of the afternoon reading it. She knew it was going to be a little bit painful to get through, but she couldn't stop herself from reading the whole thing. Once she'd started, she realised she wanted to hear the whole story. She looked through the first four chapters and had finished the first page of the fifth before she got up and went to the kitchen to refill her wine glass. Then she remembered the other bottle she'd purchased on the way in, so she walked down to the wine cellar and retrieved it. After that, she went back to the study and picked up her book, determined to finish it that evening. The words, her fingers still holding the book, started to blur on the page. _How could a man who was so intelligent feel so worthless?_ She put the book down, feeling tears in her eyes. How could that man feel like that? It wasn't fair. It didn't make sense. When she'd realised she wasn't pregnant, she'd made a vow to stop pitying herself. Why was it taking her so long to break that vow? Why was it so hard? She stood up and left the study, feeling guilty about feeling so angry. It was selfish of her to be so unhappy because she couldn't have a baby. She'd only lost one baby, and she was being told there were more. The man had lost three; it was unreasonable of her to expect him not to be down. He should be concentrating on his work instead of wallowing in guilt over something that had happened twenty years ago. She'd been in a terrible place and had blamed herself for everything, just as he'd blamed himself. _You stupid bastard._ She made her way back into the sitting room and flopped down on the settee. Why did the stupid things that made her angry also make her cry? Why did being upset with him make her want to see a different man? Why did it make her remember her dreams of children? She sat up as her phone beeped and checked the screen. It was Josh, and for some reason, she smiled. "Hi," she said, "how are you?" "Good. Just going to bed. You on your way?" She laughed. "No, I'm just reading. Sorry." "Go to bed. No worries. I'll call you tomorrow." "You going to join us for dinner?" "Yeah. I'll call you later, darling." "Kisses." She put her phone down, her gaze drifting back to the book she'd abandoned. _Don't miss the man you want, because you're too busy watching him with someone else._ The words kept rolling around in her head. _That's so bloody unfair._ She wanted to know who he was and where he came from, and yet she wasn't prepared to risk falling in love with him. What did it matter that he'd helped someone who was in her same position? She lay back on the settee and stared up at the ceiling, and then she picked up the book again, determined to finish it. It wasn't fair for someone who wasn't going to stay to upset her life. She had to make peace with it. She had to accept that she didn't have a future with Jake before she let herself love him properly. If she let him do it, would she have a happy future with him? _You don't know that you don't._ She picked up her phone and sent a text to Josh. _I'm going to bed. Love you._ It had been a long time since she'd lain awake in the dark with an exciting, hot man next to her, listening to the sound of his breathing. She'd made a vow to herself, before marrying Jake, that it was never going to happen again. She could never have more than one man in her life. It was so unfair that Jake was the only one and she couldn't have him. She thought about her phone. Josh was going to call her, and she wasn't going to answer it, but he would be surprised to get a text at eleven o'clock at night. And maybe she'd call him back and they'd talk about what was going on in his life, which would be good. Josh and his family had become good friends. They were trying to go out for dinner again soon and she was looking forward to it. She turned on her side and curled up to sleep, but the words from the book kept running around and around in her head. _Sometimes you have to take a risk in life to be happy. Jake was my risk._ She closed her eyes and wondered what it felt like to make a passionate decision. He'd been so determined that he wanted to know his family, and he would have felt so much pain if he'd missed that chance. He'd made the decision to go in a hurry, as if he was trying to get back to that first instant he'd made that decision when he'd decided to walk away from his wife. How much better if he'd taken his time, though? He'd never have met her and had the chance to fall in love with her if he'd chosen to look at her with lust and desire, instead of shock and disbelief. Maybe he'd taken the decision too quickly and would never even have got close to happiness. _If you don't take the chance, there'll always be regret, always the loss of love._ He might have been right to leave his wife. He hadn't been there for a long time. He'd clearly not been happy, if his relationship with his kids was so poor. Maybe he'd done the right thing to save himself from misery. She bit her lip. He was twenty years younger than her and she'd never be able to give him what he needed. He'd made the decision for himself, and she could sympathise with him for his loss. She wanted to do the same thing, but she couldn't possibly lose