Chapter 1. Our story begins with a man in red and with a family heirloom. A story of betrayal, of a family gone wrong and of a family with more to hide than meets the eye. It begins with a young boy. He is being led to his death. His family is being chased. They are being forced to run from what they once owned. They hide in the hopes of surviving the night. There are secrets hidden. There are sins being whispered. There is an enemy. A man in red. A man who is obsessed with the past. A man who is obsessed with the family. His family. A family with more to hide than meets the eye. They have an artifact. They have powers They have a curse. They have a curse that won't end until they do. That is who they are, what they are and what they will be. It's the curse of the House of Haden. This is the story of the House of Haden. (You can find a version of our story on Wattpad.com. Feel free to join.) That is what we've got planned! Let me know if you have questions! I can make any edits if I missed anything or need to change it up a bit. I think I've got a good plot, and it's definitely time-consuming to edit in all of the small details. A: Some comments. The title of your question is the title of the series you are writing. There is a difference. My advice is to not include any reference to this project in the main body of your question. If someone wants to go back and answer, they can read it without risk of being confused. I find the "more than meets the eye" phrase rather clichéd. A good trick for avoiding this, when you must have a cliché, is to find a new word for the old cliché. It takes the sting out of it. Do not post questions on this site if you are unsure of what you are doing. Either edit it in or delete it, but don't post it if you're not sure it is good material. I do not recommend posting this story on your site, even as a work in progress. Readers need to be able to get a sense of your character and to see the events as you describe them. That you have already posted it publicly does not make it good material. But if you are going to post it, I would suggest using your own URL for it. You don't want it to look like it is part of this site. A: Is this a "work in progress"? I found this question while searching and got a lot of noise on the subject. I came across it because I was looking for the other books in the same series, and it made me laugh. I mean, the whole point of this site is for the writers to get feedback and get ideas for what not to do. And so... You have yourself a bunch of downvotes. I say it isn't your problem. I don't understand how you could expect to get any feedback from that question unless you put a complete and working text there. From what I've read, I think the first thing that must be changed is the grammar. I think the first chapter should describe the setting and the place. After that, the description of every event should go at least once through the mind of one of the characters and the rest of the world. After that, the descriptions of characters should go once through the mind of a reader and go as real as possible. After that, the actions. If that will be a long sequence, I'll leave a comment suggesting that the author stops to let the scene breathe. It is not easy to make the reader enjoy a book he can't see any more. We need to see everything and all the details. Also, it can't be too short. And you can't have too much action. In a book, you never know when the reader will quit reading and the action and all that you've been building. It is so common to stop reading because of boredom. In this particular case, the reader will read your first chapter and not finish the book. A: How can I get feedback on a storyline? This question is based upon the assumption that someone has the idea for a story. That idea has taken shape in their mind and now they are searching for feedback on it. If the person posting the question is not completely sure what they're doing and not sure about the plot, the question is not appropriate for this site. If the person posting the question is certain about the plot and has a few chapters written or even a completed novel, but is looking for input on plot and dialogue, the question is very welcome. Keep in mind that people here are more than willing to help you along if you tell them what you are looking for. If someone wants to point out something that you should look at or mention, they're more than happy to do so. People are glad to help. On the other hand, if you start doing long back and forth dialogues between your main characters that aren't necessarily coherent or realistic, people will tell you that this is bad. You're allowed to come here with a question that needs help in the plot, in the narrative, in character and so on. The issue to keep in mind is that you're going to be getting a lot of answers (a lot of opinions). This answer here is based on all of the comments on the question by other people, and the answer here will no doubt get a bit more as people comment on it. You're not doing this in a vacuum. As mentioned in one of the answers, you can edit out everything that's commented in the question. If someone posts a comment on an answer, it becomes the only version of that information and anyone who looks at the question will see that. This question has been open for about two months now. We've had a lot of traffic on the site and you're not the only one to have asked a similar question. So far, people have been very helpful and very generous with their time. A well-written question is a well-written question. A couple of tips One thing that you might not have noticed in the help section and other sections on this site is the meta-tags. You're going to be getting a lot of information in the comments about these tags. You can look at other questions and you'll see what people have said about each of them. It's something that we have to be aware of every time we come here. Don't forget the tags The tags are meant to help, but when something is important to you, you're going to see it regardless. Take a look at the tags. See what's been suggested for each of them. Don't forget that you don't have to accept an answer. If someone provides an answer that helps you, answer the question with what you were trying to do. Don't forget tags. Use the 'mark as spam' feature. It helps the moderators find the sources of spam. You can mark it as spam. If the spam is deleted, it removes it from that section of the site. It also removes any notifications and notifications have an impact on up-votes. If you mark it as spam, it says something like: 'User X marked this post as spam.' and people can see who was the original user and can ignore the reply. The person who marked it as spam gets his or her name at the top of the post, just under the original user, if they have the 'edit questions and answers' privilege. Check your inbox for replies. There are a lot of people who visit this site who aren't yet members and can't comment. There are people from all walks of life, and all over the world who are here to help. Many of them are waiting to see what happens. You can check your inbox for replies in your profile. If you have a question for someone, you can go into your profile and view your inbox. If