I'm Not Here to Make Good Friends, but If You Must, You Can Call Me Ike". One person said: "The next time I have kids, I am just going to buy them 'I'm Not Here to Make Friends, But If You Must, You Can Call Me' dolls." "I don't want my kid to be known as 'The I'm Not Here To Make Friends Doll' or something like that. My kids are going to be called 'Noodle' or 'Boogie-Woogie'." "Oh how perfect, this is great. They actually have a line of dolls called 'I'm Not Here To Make Friends, But If You Must, You Can Call Me' " They are so clever. At first I thought you only bought one book and it was made by the same guy who did the "I'm not here to win your heart. but if you must...you can call me" book and a few others. BUT NO! This little series of books is available!! I've only seen 3 so far, but you can bet I'm not here to win my heart. I'm not here to be the perfect friend and the perfect sister and the perfect employee and the perfect sister. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!! There's also a Christmas onesy!! But why does she have to make outfits with "Auntie Flo?" Oh well, if you must. I'm Not Here To Win Your Heart. But If You Must, You Can Call Me Ike Oh look, it's the same cover design that the books have, just with different words and a different picture! They really are on a roll with making people buy these. I'm not really sure why. Tuesday, August 15, 2006 So remember that awesome book I got for my mom? And by awesome, I mean I opened it to find an empty bag. A bag is supposed to have candy in it! AMAZING. Well, after trying to call the company for 15 minutes, I get a hold of them and explain my problem. And it gets better. I explain to them I have a child with leukemia, and because of this I am an easy mark for these kinds of tricks. I give examples of trickery in general and how it can affect a person. But apparently these guys don't care. I had to explain myself like 5 times before they realized I was getting sick off the smell of a free book they sent me! And then the last part, the part that would've made me furious had I known about it earlier. They have "Friends for Life". I'm not making this up. We'll you can win free books to people like me if you send their "free" book(the book I gave to my sister who doesn't have kids) and a candy bar to the person who likes to read. I can't stress enough how great it was for them to send this to me. But a candy bar for sending it to someone that could have the flu at any moment? Not so great. I'm not trying to be mean, but really? If anyone has kids, this is an absolute must. Send them for them. That way they can get something for free. And the people who don't have kids, like me, won't get sick for nothing. No really, you send your book to someone who doesn't have kids, and I will get free candy!! And we have the exact same book!! What are we paying for? Sunday, August 13, 2006 So my friend was going through Facebook, and she saw that one of her friend's moms bought the "I'm not here to make friends, but if you must, you can call me" book. She had a conniption. But she never bought the book. She put it on her mom's computer without telling her what it was. The mom is one of those people that doesn't buy books for herself because her daughter needs to read all day. So instead she goes on EBay. She can find any book or music or cd she wants for a good price and she really doesn't have to spend money. I really don't know what she does to put food on the table. Anyway, my friend wanted me to start a group, (they have a group for everyone and everything) and tell everyone to post pictures of their mothers buying "I'm not here to make friends, but if you must, you can call me" books for their kids. She thought it would be funny, especially since a lot of the mothers are pretty hardcore Christians. That's why I call it a group, because it's like the "Dude, where's your Jesus?" board, except we're looking for books. Friday, August 11, 2006 So my friend is very, very smart. And very very sarcastic. She's been doing this for a couple of years, going through all of our books and we've lost about 3 each time to the book trading game. So, on a recent trip we have her mom buy her a "God is not here to make friends" book for me. She doesn't know that it was written by the same guy who wrote the "I'm not here to make friends, but if you must, you can call me" book. Now every time we tell someone, I get laughed at and she gets a cookie. I guess you're wondering, what is the "cookie" of the book. Yes, there is a cookie for people that buy the book. I also saw the new "Dude Where's Your Jesus?" board on the Godless Pics blog, and I also wanted to start a Godless Pics version of the "I'm not here to make friends, but if you must, you can call me" books. Wednesday, August 9, 2006 A few days ago I went to this huge thrift store, which is really a warehouse filled with random things. I was looking for a particular book and couldn't find it. Then this lady came in with her husband, who was in a wheelchair, and they asked me if I had any games, since they could buy nothing. They looked through my bins and came across this "Baby Einstein" book. She said she only paid a dollar for it at a garage sale. Of course I didn't know the kid was deaf, and neither did the mom who donated it to the store. So I get this kid, and I'm looking at him and he is staring at the ground. He can hear, it seems like he can, because he turns to look at me with this big smile that would have scared the crap out of me when I was his age. The mom, who must have donated it to get rid of it, was just looking at the boy, saying how cute and perfect he was. So she gave me the baby, and I was going to take it home. My daughter and I were reading it to her, and we were surprised at how well she can read. After about 5 minutes we noticed that she would reach the "Oh I see you're deaf, sorry" page, and that she would pull back from the "I see you're deaf, sorry" page. My daughter is almost 7, and she's at a good stage in reading. So when I saw her go to the back of a page and then back to where she was, I was a little worried. She could read this book, but she doesn't really need it anymore. At the end of it she asked me why I bought it for her and if I got anything else. I told her I got the book, and she was glad to see a little more of her mom in it. So there you have it, the story of a perfect kid finding a gift. And the story of a mom finding a book and a story. Thursday, August 3, 2006 So after my kids grow up, I have this idea for a book. My kids won't read, so I would just write it. So in that book, the character is really sick with some disease and has to learn the real meaning of friendship. The book would be about them learning to be friends. I'd write it so it was from the perspective of a book character. So the book would go: "Ok, people... I have a question: why are you here? I mean, really. To me, this book looks great, really, really great. I've never written a book before, so here is what I am going to do. This book is going to be called "I'm not here to make friends, but if you must, you can call me". Why are you calling? My name is Joey. I am one of those people that never has the time to make friends, because of my